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ASK AMY: Politics leads to Facebook ‘unfriending’ – Toronto Sun

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Dear Amy: I recently “unfriended” my dear older sister on Facebook because some of our political views differ — so rather than see her postings that differ from my views, I decided to eliminate that tension.

Before the unfriending, I tried to “unfollow” her, but then I’d miss her posts about other things, so I’d check her page and eventually see more politics. I just can’t stop offering my opinions when she posts, and then I feel chastised when she defends her point of view.

We don’t hang out a lot, but when we are together we don’t normally talk politics; and if something uncomfortable (for me) comes up, I change the subject.

My sister says, “OK, fine. We’ll just live in a world of unicorns and rainbows.”

She is obviously not happy that I unfriended her.

She says everyone has differing opinions, and that’s OK.

Is she right, am I living in a fantasy world by trying to keep the tension out of our relationship?

Am I oversensitive?

— Little Sister

Dear Sister: My take on this is that you do seem sensitive and very protective of your point of view. But (speaking as a “little sister” myself), the age differential between siblings often conveys a lifetime of dominance.

Your less-sensitive older sister feels comfortable staking her claim and then defending it when you offer your own views. You interpret this as “tension,” but she seems to see it as a back-and-forth. She may also enjoy needling you regarding your sensitivity.

I suspect that after two weeks of being disconnected on social media, your blood pressure will stay down, you will stop feeling guilty and you will enjoy not being reactive and triggered by your sister’s postings.

The next time she teases you about living in a fantasy world, I suggest you demonstrate that you are unruffled. Send her a GIF of a unicorn leaping over a rainbow with the statement: “Life in my fantasy world is even better than I imagined. Love you, sis — let’s talk soon.”

Dear Amy: I feel betrayed by a friend of 20 years. We live close by, but rarely get together because she spends almost all her time with her husband. They don’t entertain or get together with friends or family. I don’t know why that is, but it is obviously a very personal decision and not my business.

Every day, “Jane” and I emailed back and forth several times a day, discussing every imaginable subject, including some extremely personal things. I have told her things that I have never told anyone else.

I recently joined a senior dating website. Every so often, I would share some emails men had sent me, and she would write back her comments. This has been fun.

Last week she wrote to ask me to stop sharing any dating-related emails. She said that when her husband reads those messages, he misunderstands that they are to me and not to her, and he freaks out. (Jane is in her 70s and her husband is in his 80s.)

I feel devastated to know that her husband has been reading our emails for 20 years and I did not know it.

I am reminded of an old saying: “The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.”

How can I get over this?

— Devastated

Dear Devastated: You don’t know that “Jane’s” husband reads all of her emails — and has for 20 years.

Her husband could have cognitive (or other) problems that have brought this on recently. The fact is, as intimate as your friendship with Jane is, you don’t seem to know much about her situation.

The way to get over this is to try to understand it. You should tell Jane that you are surprised and concerned that her husband reads her email and ask if she could give you a call so you two could talk about it.

Dear Amy: Here’s another suggestion for how to get someone to stop interrupting: Many years ago when I obviously interrupted a friend, the friend stopped me dead in my tracks by saying, “I bet you thought I was finished.”

I was unaware of my tendency to interrupt people until it was so vividly pointed out. It was a lesson learned and was a great way to teach me and the others who were there a lesson that I never forgot.

— Grateful

Dear Grateful: I love this phrasing (and expect a loved-one to use it on me very soon).

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‘Disgraceful:’ N.S. Tory leader slams school’s request that military remove uniform

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HALIFAX – Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston says it’s “disgraceful and demeaning” that a Halifax-area school would request that service members not wear military uniforms to its Remembrance Day ceremony.

Houston’s comments were part of a chorus of criticism levelled at the school — Sackville Heights Elementary — whose administration decided to back away from the plan after the outcry.

A November newsletter from the school in Middle Sackville, N.S., invited Armed Forces members to attend its ceremony but asked that all attendees arrive in civilian attire to “maintain a welcoming environment for all.”

Houston, who is currently running for re-election, accused the school’s leaders of “disgracing themselves while demeaning the people who protect our country” in a post on the social media platform X Thursday night.

“If the people behind this decision had a shred of the courage that our veterans have, this cowardly and insulting idea would have been rejected immediately,” Houston’s post read. There were also several calls for resignations within the school’s administration attached to Houston’s post.

In an email to families Thursday night, the school’s principal, Rachael Webster, apologized and welcomed military family members to attend “in the attire that makes them most comfortable.”

“I recognize this request has caused harm and I am deeply sorry,” Webster’s email read, adding later that the school has the “utmost respect for what the uniform represents.”

Webster said the initial request was out of concern for some students who come from countries experiencing conflict and who she said expressed discomfort with images of war, including military uniforms.

Her email said any students who have concerns about seeing Armed Forces members in uniform can be accommodated in a way that makes them feel safe, but she provided no further details in the message.

Webster did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

At a news conference Friday, Houston said he’s glad the initial request was reversed but said he is still concerned.

“I can’t actually fathom how a decision like that was made,” Houston told reporters Friday, adding that he grew up moving between military bases around the country while his father was in the Armed Forces.

“My story of growing up in a military family is not unique in our province. The tradition of service is something so many of us share,” he said.

“Saying ‘lest we forget’ is a solemn promise to the fallen. It’s our commitment to those that continue to serve and our commitment that we will pass on our respects to the next generation.”

Liberal Leader Zach Churchill also said he’s happy with the school’s decision to allow uniformed Armed Forces members to attend the ceremony, but he said he didn’t think it was fair to question the intentions of those behind the original decision.

“We need to have them (uniforms) on display at Remembrance Day,” he said. “Not only are we celebrating (veterans) … we’re also commemorating our dead who gave the greatest sacrifice for our country and for the freedoms we have.”

NDP Leader Claudia Chender said that while Remembrance Day is an important occasion to honour veterans and current service members’ sacrifices, she said she hopes Houston wasn’t taking advantage of the decision to “play politics with this solemn occasion for his own political gain.”

“I hope Tim Houston reached out to the principal of the school before making a public statement,” she said in a statement.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Nov. 8, 2024.

The Canadian Press. All rights reserved.

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Saskatchewan NDP’s Beck holds first caucus meeting after election, outlines plans

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REGINA – Saskatchewan Opposition NDP Leader Carla Beck says she wants to prove to residents her party is the government in waiting as she heads into the incoming legislative session.

Beck held her first caucus meeting with 27 members, nearly double than what she had before the Oct. 28 election but short of the 31 required to form a majority in the 61-seat legislature.

She says her priorities will be health care and cost-of-living issues.

Beck says people need affordability help right now and will press Premier Scott Moe’s Saskatchewan Party government to cut the gas tax and the provincial sales tax on children’s clothing and some grocery items.

Beck’s NDP is Saskatchewan’s largest Opposition in nearly two decades after sweeping Regina and winning all but one seat in Saskatoon.

The Saskatchewan Party won 34 seats, retaining its hold on all of the rural ridings and smaller cities.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Nov. 8, 2024.

The Canadian Press. All rights reserved.

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Nova Scotia election: Liberals say province’s immigration levels are too high

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HALIFAX – Nova Scotia‘s growing population was the subject of debate on Day 12 of the provincial election campaign, with Liberal Leader Zach Churchill arguing immigration levels must be reduced until the province can provide enough housing and health-care services.

Churchill said Thursday a plan by the incumbent Progressive Conservatives to double the province’s population to two million people by the year 2060 is unrealistic and unsustainable.

“That’s a big leap and it’s making life harder for people who live here, (including ) young people looking for a place to live and seniors looking to downsize,” he told a news conference at his campaign headquarters in Halifax.

Anticipating that his call for less immigration might provoke protests from the immigrant community, Churchill was careful to note that he is among the third generation of a family that moved to Nova Scotia from Lebanon.

“I know the value of immigration, the importance of it to our province. We have been built on the backs of an immigrant population. But we just need to do it in a responsible way.”

The Liberal leader said Tim Houston’s Tories, who are seeking a second term in office, have made a mistake by exceeding immigration targets set by the province’s Department of Labour and Immigration. Churchill said a Liberal government would abide by the department’s targets.

In the most recent fiscal year, the government welcomed almost 12,000 immigrants through its nominee program, exceeding the department’s limit by more than 4,000, he said. The numbers aren’t huge, but the increase won’t help ease the province’s shortages in housing and doctors, and the increased strain on its infrastructure, including roads, schools and cellphone networks, Churchill said.

“(The Immigration Department) has done the hard work on this,” he said. “They know where the labour gaps are, and they know what growth is sustainable.”

In response, Houston said his commitment to double the population was a “stretch goal.” And he said the province had long struggled with a declining population before that trend was recently reversed.

“The only immigration that can come into this province at this time is if they are a skilled trade worker or a health-care worker,” Houston said. “The population has grown by two per cent a year, actually quite similar growth to what we experienced under the Liberal government before us.”

Still, Houston said he’s heard Nova Scotians’ concerns about population growth, and he then pivoted to criticize Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for trying to send 6,000 asylum seekers to Nova Scotia, an assertion the federal government has denied.

Churchill said Houston’s claim about asylum seekers was shameful.

“It’s smoke and mirrors,” the Liberal leader said. “He is overshooting his own department’s numbers for sustainable population growth and yet he is trying to blame this on asylum seekers … who aren’t even here.”

In September, federal Immigration Minister Marc Miller said there is no plan to send any asylum seekers to the province without compensation or the consent of the premier. He said the 6,000 number was an “aspirational” figure based on models that reflect each province’s population.

In Halifax, NDP Leader Claudia Chender said it’s clear Nova Scotia needs more doctors, nurses and skilled trades people.

“Immigration has been and always will be a part of the Nova Scotia story, but we need to build as we grow,” Chender said. “This is why we have been pushing the Houston government to build more affordable housing.”

Chender was in a Halifax cafe on Thursday when she promised her party would remove the province’s portion of the harmonized sales tax from all grocery, cellphone and internet bills if elected to govern on Nov. 26. The tax would also be removed from the sale and installation of heat pumps.

“Our focus is on helping people to afford their lives,” Chender told reporters. “We know there are certain things that you can’t live without: food, internet and a phone …. So we know this will have the single biggest impact.”

The party estimates the measure would save the average Nova Scotia family about $1,300 a year.

“That’s a lot more than a one or two per cent HST cut,” Chender said, referring to the Progressive Conservative pledge to reduce the tax by one percentage point and the Liberal promise to trim it by two percentage points.

Elsewhere on the campaign trail, Houston announced that a Progressive Conservative government would make parking free at all Nova Scotia hospitals and health-care centres. The promise was also made by the Liberals in their election platform released Monday.

“Free parking may not seem like a big deal to some, but … the parking, especially for people working at the facilities, can add up to hundreds of dollars,” the premier told a news conference at his campaign headquarters in Halifax.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Nov. 7, 2024.

— With files from Keith Doucette in Halifax

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