During Obama’s first run for president, I remember overhearing one of my closest college friends proclaim her love for Sarah Palin, the vice-presidential running mate to Republican presidential nominee, John McCain. How could someone I got along with so well idolize someone I abhorred? In that moment, I was ready to let our different political persuasions overshadow our friendship. Yet, my open support for Obama hadn’t altered how she interacted with me. Although I couldn’t fathom or reconcile the reasoning for her resounding respect for the political ticket I vehemently opposed, I saw past our political disparity and recognized the myriad other things that defined her. Our friendship reminded me that we’re defined by more than our political views, and that strong connections demand much more than political parity.
Luckily, my friendship was well established. I knew my friend’s character before the blows of political differences could bear any weight on our friendship. That’s not always the case. Though we have more in common than in combat, we allow political beliefs to take priority and prevail over all else when forming our opinion of someone. We automatically attach the stereotypes and grievances we have for a political party or politician to those affiliated with that party or person. The character and personality of others become solely defined by political alliances. It’s happening across party lines and within the parties themselves. We pick our team and politics becomes an all or nothing game of no compromise.
Most have learned to not cast stereotypes based on race, religion or gender, but don’t apply the same discretion to politics. It’s why we’re critical of one’s driving when their bumper displays support for candidates we loathe, and more forgiving towards cars who show support for candidates and causes we care about. The pre-prescribed notions that formulate our opinions of people before we give them opportunity to define themselves result in a loss of real connections and failure to appreciate and understand one another.
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If we could see past others’ political leanings, we’d recognize that there are many who we may not stand by politically, but who we’d be lucky to have by our side. If we make the mistake of dismissing all those with whom we don’t agree, we’ll not only lose any possibility of understanding and appreciating their perspectives and experiences that guided them to their position, but also any opportunity to allow them to make a meaningful impact on our lives. If I let politics get in the way, I’d miss out on many of my favorite connections; some significant, some quotidian. I’m better for the varying perspectives of my connections and my days are richer because of them.
Who we are, what we believe, and what we stand for is much better represented by our actions, personality and humanity than any box we may or may not check on a ballot. We should focus more on others’ character, contribution to community, and commitment to the common good than presuming we know them based solely on their political preferences. Otherwise, we’ll likely miss opportunity for life-long friendships, like the one I’m grateful to have in my Sarah Palin-loving college best friend.
