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Few outlets for grief as COVID-19 death toll surpasses 10000 in Canada – CTV News

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TORONTO —
On March 8, a man in his 80s died in a B.C. care home, the very first Canadian victim of a new virus sweeping across the globe.

Seven months later, we have passed a tragic milestone: more than 10,000 people have died of COVID-19 in Canada.

Hidden behind this number is not only the thousands of individual stories of loss, but also the countless loved ones left behind to struggle with their grief in a time when families cannot gather to properly mourn.

COVID-19 has torn through Canada’s landscape, causing upheaval in the health care system, in schools, in families and workplaces.

The victims range from the young to the old, from care home residents to doctors working tirelessly in hospitals. Many died of the virus before its severity was fully grasped by the population.

A GLIMPSE OF THE TOLL

Just one of the 10,000 victims is Sean Cunnington, a 51-year-old musician, father and husband who was killed by COVID-19 in March.

His wife, Teri Cunnington, described him as “the most caring, most genuine, loving person.”

“You know, he was my everything,” she told CTV News.

She was among the first to warn of the tragic effects of the disease after she lost her husband, urging people to take the virus seriously and follow health precautions.

“Anybody can catch this disease,” she said. “Anybody can.”

Older adults tend to have more severe cases, but young people can still be killed by the novel coronavirus.

In Quebec, a community was stunned when 19-year-old Don Beni Kabangu Nsapu was taken by the virus in August.

The teenager had come to Canada in 2015 from the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and was “an angel,” according to his high school soccer coach, Stephane Kalonga.

“You cannot ask for a better son, or a better little brother, or better guy than Don Beni,” Kalonga said.

Some had battled other conditions or health issues for years before COVID-19 came along.

When 57-year-old Deb Diemer started feeling unwell a few weeks after a successful kidney transplant, her family thought it was nothing.

“We just thought it was a simple cold she had,” her husband, Mike Diemer, told CTV News.

Deb had been through a lot and always come out on top before, having received a double-lung transplant in 2002 — 16 years after being diagnosed with primary pulmonary hypertension.

Her husband said that even when they knew it was COVID-19, “we thought we had this beat.”

Nine days after she tested positive, she died in her Calgary home.

“She was a woman in her 50s with pre-existing conditions,” Mike Diemer said. “I’m not going to let her be reduced to that, a statistic.”

Another group of people put at a higher risk of contracting the virus is the very people trying to stop it.

After decades of work in the medical field, Dr. Abubakar Notiar died of COVID-19 at 80 years old.

“This virus is deadly, and it took a giant from our lives,” his son, Dr. Reza Notiar, told CTV News.

He emphasized that his father, who worked for 50 years in Kenya providing healthcare to those who couldn’t afford it, was someone who always put others first.

“He, over half a century, took care of tens of thousands of people for free.”

There have been countless deaths among those working on the front lines of this pandemic, sometimes without proper equipment or protection themselves.

Like 61-year-old Leonard Rodriques, a personal support worker who died in May, and had to buy his own personal protective equipment (PPE) from the dollar store.

The day he died, his wife found him motionless in their bedroom.

“I saw him flat on his back with the phone in his hand and the glasses were all twisted on his face,” Dorothy Rodriques said.

The family performed CPR on him until paramedics arrived, but nothing could be done.

“My son is screaming, ‘Dad, don’t leave us,’” Dorothy recalled.

His daughter, Terena, told CTV News that “there are so many PSWs like him who are not being protected.

“My Dad’s dead. Gone.”

These are just a few of the people who have been struck down by the virus.

THE GRIEF OF THOSE LEFT BEHIND

But despite the thousands of Canadians dying due to this virus, this massive grief has been largely invisible — COVID-19 has cancelled funerals, driven families indoors and made it harder to share the pain or celebrate the lives of those who passed away.

Grief counsellors and psychologist say we need outlets and support.

“This is absolutely unprecedented,” Shelly Cory, executive director of the Canadian Virtual Hospice, told CTV News.

The Canadian Virtual Hospice provides resources such as MyGrief.ca and KidsGrief.ca to help families, kids and people deal with grief and subjects around palliative care and advanced illness.

According to Cory, since the pandemic started, inquiries and requests for help through their MyGrief.ca platform have increased by 270 per cent compared to last year.

“It worries me for the people who aren’t getting the support and it worries me for society, because when grief isn’t well supported, then it can slide into depression and thoughts of suicide,” Cory said.

A July study looking at the ripple effect of grief due to COVID-19 showed that for every person who died of COVID-19, an average of around nine people are left to shoulder the loss.

“So when we do the math, that’s a significant number of Canadians who are being impacted,” Cory said. “When we do the math further for all the people who are grieving during this period, whose grief is impacted, that number goes up to close to 1.3 million Canadians who in the last six, seven months have [experienced this grief].”

This number doesn’t even include the thousands of other deaths from other causes this year, and the families and friends whose grieving process for those deaths was disrupted by the inability to gather and mourn together because of public health restrictions.

“We’re not able to undertake all those rituals that we usually undertake when someone’s dying,” Cory said. “So we’re not able to gather at the bedside, to support both the person who’s dying and each other, so that human connection is being severed, and that human connection is so critical.”

Some victims of COVID-19 have said their final goodbyes to their loved ones over a video call before being intubated. Others have died alone in hospital, weeks after they last saw the face of a family member or friend.

Mubarak Popat, a 77-year-old who contracted COVID-19 in the U.K. in early March, died in the very same hospital that his daughter and son-in-law both worked at in Toronto. Despite working as doctors in the hospital he was a patient in, they were unable to be with him in his final moments.

“It was unimaginably hard and unimaginably traumatizing,” his daughter, Noreen, told CTV News. “It is going to take a long time to work through the feelings having gone through that.”

Cory said that when people are unable to have that human connection at the end of a loved one’s life, it can prolong and complicate the grief due to the lack of closure.

“That increases the risk of depression of anxiety and thoughts about suicide,” she said. “So it’s incredibly important for us to be able to respond to that.”

Across the country, and the globe, there are individual efforts to mark this invisible grief, such as the COVID-19 Memorial Blanket Project.

The monumental project will stitch together 12-inch squares emblazoned with the names of all of those lost, if the families give their consent.

“We are creating one individual square for every single person that we’ve lost in Canada,” Heather Breadner, one of the knitters behind the project, told CTV News.

They are aiming to be able to show the art installation in January of 2021, on the anniversary of the first presumptive case of COVID-19 in Canada, but will have to quilt quickly. Already, the blanket is set to be more than 9,000 square feet and weigh approximately 680 kilograms, according to their website.

“Family members in various provinces can visit it, they can touch that square […] and know that somebody was thinking of them, and knit that square to represent their family member or their loved one that was lost,” Breadner said.

Grief is distinct from depression and stress, although both can result from grief, which means that resources aimed at supporting mental health can sometimes leave out those who are stricken with grief and struggling to handle it.

With grieving rituals so disrupted by COVID-19, the Canadian Virtual Hospice created the Canadian Grief Alliance (CGA), a group of national leaders in grief who are working to bolster grief services. They have almost one thousand organizations, both regional and national, and individuals signed up.

CGA submitted a proposal to Health Minister Patty Hajdu and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on May 12, outlining an action plan to help support grieving Canadians that included investing in national grief programs and launching public awareness campaigns — but say they have not received a concrete response.

“The measure of a country is how it responds in its darkest days, and I’m really concerned by the fact that there isn’t a national response by the government to the lack of grief services, and for people who are grieving,” Cory said.

“These are the darkest days.”  

With files from Ryan Flanagan

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1-800-GOT-JUNK? Reveals the Spooky Side of Decluttering This Halloween

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VANCOUVER, BC, OCTOBER 24, 2024// This Halloween, 1-800-GOT-JUNK? is spotlighting the strange and spooky items uncovered while helping customers declutter. Known for making junk disappear, the world’s largest junk removal service encounters all kinds of oddities—and during the Halloween season, some of those finds are downright eerie.

From forgotten family heirlooms to unusual antiques, the company’s friendly, professional teams have seen it all. Customers often joke about having skeletons in their closets, but with 1-800-GOT-JUNK?, it sometimes turns out to be true. To see the full list of the most unusual and spooky items visit their Spooky Junk blog.

Whether you have traditional junk items, or you’re looking to get rid of something slightly spooky, 1-800-GOT-JUNK? is committed to providing exceptional customer service every step of the way. With 35 years of experience, no junk is too scary for this industry leader to take. All you have to do is point.

 

1-800-GOT-JUNK? Spooky Junk

About 1-800-GOT-JUNK?

1-800-GOT-JUNK? pioneered an industry that brings people and businesses relief by making their junk disappear. Whether it’s a pile of household junk in the garage or a warehouse full of office furnishings, 1-800-GOT-JUNK? removes it for you. With the help of their friendly, uniformed team members, convenient services, and customer first philosophy, they make the ordinary business of junk removal exceptional. They also care about the environment, making sure to recycle the recyclables and donate the donatables when possible. 1-800-GOT-JUNK? was founded in 1989 and now operates in 180 locations throughout North America and Australia. For more information, visit www.1800gotjunk.com.

For more information:

1-800-GOT-JUNK?

pr@1800gotjunk.com

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Trudeau decried for immigration cuts which scapegoat migrants

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Halifax, Nova Scotia (October 24, 2024) – Today, the Trudeau government announced significant cuts to permanent resident targets for Canada over the next three years. For the first time, targets for temporary residents are also being included in their plan. This follows a series of announcements by the Trudeau government to reduce the number of temporary residents in Canada, including low-waged migrant workers.

In 2021, Prime Minister Trudeau made a mandate letter commitment to a regularization program for undocumented people and permanent resident status for migrant workers and students. Earlier this year, the United Nations Special Rapporteur on contemporary forms of slavery Tomoya Obokata called Canada’s Temporary Foreign Worker Program “a breeding ground for contemporary forms of slavery” and urged the Government of Canada to provide a clear pathway to permanent residency upon arrival for migrant workers. Instead, these recent changes will mean reduced access to permanent residence for migrants.

In an October 24, 2024 press release, the Government of Canada claims that their new plan “alleviates pressures on housing, infrastructure and social services.”

“These changes unfairly blame and punish migrants. Migrants build communities and bolster the economy. They fund services like healthcare through their taxes, and yet in places like Nova Scotia they are excluded from healthcare coverage. We need real solutions, not more smoke and mirrors,” said Stacey Gomez, Executive Director of the Centre for Migrant Worker Rights Nova Scotia, which is a member of the Migrant Rights Network.

Over 100 organizations have penned an open letter to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau warning the government that slashing permanent immigration will force more migrants into temporary and precarious situations, further entrenching their exploitation and worsening conditions for all workers. The letter, signed by nearly every major civil society group in Canada, shows that there is a unified consensus in Canada to expand, not reduce, permanent residency programs, abolish closed work permits and ensure regularization. Read the letter here.

The Migrant Rights Network and its allies are calling on the federal government to immediately reverse this decision and chart a new course that grants equal rights for all migrants. This includes ensuring permanent resident status for everyone, expanding protections for workers, and upholding human rights for all.

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Here is how to prepare your online accounts for when you die

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LONDON (AP) — Most people have accumulated a pile of data — selfies, emails, videos and more — on their social media and digital accounts over their lifetimes. What happens to it when we die?

It’s wise to draft a will spelling out who inherits your physical assets after you’re gone, but don’t forget to take care of your digital estate too. Friends and family might treasure files and posts you’ve left behind, but they could get lost in digital purgatory after you pass away unless you take some simple steps.

Here’s how you can prepare your digital life for your survivors:

Apple

The iPhone maker lets you nominate a “ legacy contact ” who can access your Apple account’s data after you die. The company says it’s a secure way to give trusted people access to photos, files and messages. To set it up you’ll need an Apple device with a fairly recent operating system — iPhones and iPads need iOS or iPadOS 15.2 and MacBooks needs macOS Monterey 12.1.

For iPhones, go to settings, tap Sign-in & Security and then Legacy Contact. You can name one or more people, and they don’t need an Apple ID or device.

You’ll have to share an access key with your contact. It can be a digital version sent electronically, or you can print a copy or save it as a screenshot or PDF.

Take note that there are some types of files you won’t be able to pass on — including digital rights-protected music, movies and passwords stored in Apple’s password manager. Legacy contacts can only access a deceased user’s account for three years before Apple deletes the account.

Google

Google takes a different approach with its Inactive Account Manager, which allows you to share your data with someone if it notices that you’ve stopped using your account.

When setting it up, you need to decide how long Google should wait — from three to 18 months — before considering your account inactive. Once that time is up, Google can notify up to 10 people.

You can write a message informing them you’ve stopped using the account, and, optionally, include a link to download your data. You can choose what types of data they can access — including emails, photos, calendar entries and YouTube videos.

There’s also an option to automatically delete your account after three months of inactivity, so your contacts will have to download any data before that deadline.

Facebook and Instagram

Some social media platforms can preserve accounts for people who have died so that friends and family can honor their memories.

When users of Facebook or Instagram die, parent company Meta says it can memorialize the account if it gets a “valid request” from a friend or family member. Requests can be submitted through an online form.

The social media company strongly recommends Facebook users add a legacy contact to look after their memorial accounts. Legacy contacts can do things like respond to new friend requests and update pinned posts, but they can’t read private messages or remove or alter previous posts. You can only choose one person, who also has to have a Facebook account.

You can also ask Facebook or Instagram to delete a deceased user’s account if you’re a close family member or an executor. You’ll need to send in documents like a death certificate.

TikTok

The video-sharing platform says that if a user has died, people can submit a request to memorialize the account through the settings menu. Go to the Report a Problem section, then Account and profile, then Manage account, where you can report a deceased user.

Once an account has been memorialized, it will be labeled “Remembering.” No one will be able to log into the account, which prevents anyone from editing the profile or using the account to post new content or send messages.

X

It’s not possible to nominate a legacy contact on Elon Musk’s social media site. But family members or an authorized person can submit a request to deactivate a deceased user’s account.

Passwords

Besides the major online services, you’ll probably have dozens if not hundreds of other digital accounts that your survivors might need to access. You could just write all your login credentials down in a notebook and put it somewhere safe. But making a physical copy presents its own vulnerabilities. What if you lose track of it? What if someone finds it?

Instead, consider a password manager that has an emergency access feature. Password managers are digital vaults that you can use to store all your credentials. Some, like Keeper,Bitwarden and NordPass, allow users to nominate one or more trusted contacts who can access their keys in case of an emergency such as a death.

But there are a few catches: Those contacts also need to use the same password manager and you might have to pay for the service.

___

Is there a tech challenge you need help figuring out? Write to us at onetechtip@ap.org with your questions.

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