Bobby Ryan spoke from the heart Friday about the biggest battle he’s faced in his life.

Speaking at the Canadian Tire Centre for the first time since entering the NHL’s Players’ Assistance program in November, the 32-year-old winger told reporters he’s battling alcoholism and is determined to get his career back on track when he returns to the lineup next week.

When that happens, the 12-year veteran and 2015 all-star will be suiting up for the first time since Nov. 16 against the Buffalo Sabres. He had a goal and three assists in 14 games before shutting it down, but also a resume that included four 30-goal seasons with the Anaheim Ducks before being traded to the Senators to start the 2013-14 campaign.

Ryan indicated he’d been dealing with his alcoholism issue for years, and he sought help only when it finally got to the point where he realized he couldn’t do it on his own.

“I’m doing great,” said Ryan. “I’ve been back in some capacity since December and what the capacity is gets gradually updated. I’m doing very, very well. It’s been trying at times but everybody has been very supportive and my recovery has been a process and a learning thing for me, for sure. I’ve come a long way and I’ve just learned to get a little bit better each day.”

Ryan said making this decision wasn’t easy because this is something he would have rather dealt with privately. And though he’d tried to quit drinking on his own, it wasn’t working.

“It’s been tough. It’s gotten a little easier every day as you get a little more integrated, just being around the guys,” he said. “The first month was very tough, and then you come back and you’re very isolated with what you’re doing and trying to make the baby steps to come back. You’re going through the protocol, but you’re not around the guys.

“Thankfully for me, I got the other affairs in order and I was able to come to the rink and get a little bit better and a little bit stronger every day. The guys have been great. Away from the rink, my wife (Danielle) has been an absolute rock star, allowing me to do this. She’s taken on more than she’s probably had to, but she’s been absolutely incredible.”

Ryan was at the point where his life was out of control and he had to make this step if he was going to have any chance at recovery. It wasn’t easy, but it was the right thing for him to do.

“It’s something I’ve been battling for a while. I’ve tried on my own and I was already getting help for it,” Ryan said. “What I was doing wasn’t enough, I was trying white knuckle things and do things the wrong way and I’d have 20 days of nothing and one really bad one and you just can’t get better without it.

“There’s such a stigma around asking for help, and just trying to do it. I’ve done that for a long time and finally, I guess you could call it a panic attack, but it was more of a realization that the route I was going had no good end in sight. That’s not just professionally, but personally.

“I didn’t want to continue to do that. I had a lot of times when I woke up in the morning just over-ridden with guilt and shame and saying I would do something. I’d do it for 12 days then I’d be messing up again. It wasn’t going to lead … it had no good end.”

Doing this during the season wasn’t the route Ryan wanted to take but, in the end, he had no choice but to leave the team in Detroit to enter the program.

“That’s probably why it took me longer,” he said. “In a perfect world, I would have gone in June and just kind of done it quietly. I realized it happens when it happens and I spent two weeks agonizing over the fact it was going to be a media thing for me. I spent months and years before that trying to avoid that by just doing it on my own.

“I got to a point where I said enough is enough of this shame and the guilt and not being the person you need to be for your family. It happens when it happens. I’ve learned that and I’m starting to accept it a little bit. I’ve dreaded this day for the better part of three months but if you’re going to take time to try to heal yourself you’re going to have to face the music, right?”

A father of two, Ryan is pleased he took this step.

“I just needed to learn how to start,” the Cherry Hill, N.J. native said. “I don’t have any of the fear of missing out or the issue of not drinking. The issue for me was stopping. Unfortunately, I just never had a period of my life when there were people around me to help me really stop. It took me going somewhere to figure that out and giving myself a dry period to start.

“That was very, very beneficial for me. It helped immensely. As tough as it is personally to deal with, I’m immensely happy that I did it.”

Other players who have been through this have reached out to Ryan to help him.

“Everybody knows some of the guys who’ve been through the program and can be a little more vocal about it and I’ve talked to all of those guys. I’ve played with some of them and really leaned on them,” Ryan said. “Some guys reached out that I had no clue had already gone through it and they did it quietly and they did it in June and it worked for them.

“That kind of support within the NHL I found overwhelming. It was incredible how many guys reached out that I had no idea about and had no prior contact.”

Ryan is hoping that by sharing his message, he can help others and you have to believe that will be the case because of the details he used to describe his issue.

“In that sense, there’s a silver lining,” he said. “I’d like to be a role model for other reasons, but everything led me to here. I wish it hadn’t taken so long in the last three years to get to where I am, but I would urge anybody … I read so many articles about other players in certain capacities because I had a lot of time on my hands that I drew parallels with a lot of guys.

“So, if there’s anybody who hears it, and can recognize something and find a way to ask  for help, then I urge them do it.”

Ryan said he feels at peace with himself.

“A lot of what I’ve been through is very public, not just in this regard, but with familiar stuff,” Ryan said. “It’s not a catalyst for it, but it’s a lot of it. I think for a very long time, I just kind of put my head down and never dealt with any of it. Things just continued to escalate for the last three years. My therapy is going to continue. It’s not fun, but it’s something I need to let go and put in my past.

“I’ve started to do that but I feel great and at peace with a lot of it but I’ve still got to let go some more of it.”

bgarrioch@postmedia.com

Twitter: @sungarrioch

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