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Grieving Paradise mother finds strength by writing social media blog – TheChronicleHerald.ca

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PARADISE, N.L. —

Pam Myles’ home looks as inviting as her greeting when she answers the door.

“Come in,” she says, with a warm smile.

“Don’t mind the mess,” she adds, as she walks into her living room, where a baby Exersaucer and a handful of toys rest on top of a section of colourful children’s foam floor tiles.

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Other than the faint lull from the television, there’s little sound in the house as her six-month-old son, Lukas, naps in his room at the other end of the house.

“This is the time of day that’s hardest for me,” she said.

“It’s the daytime when it’s quiet.”

Normally, there would be an energetic young boy running around, likely wearing nothing but underwear, singing “Wheels on the Bus,” and climbing on a chair insisting that he help his mother wash dishes or cook supper, anxious to get a butter knife to cut up mushrooms.

“Noah was a force,” Myles said, her face lighting up. “He was busy — super, super busy. I can’t exaggerate enough how busy he was. He was bright and curious.

“And loud,” she added, laughing.

She would give anything to hear those sounds again, but they’ve been silenced forever.


Noah Saja. - Rosie Mullaley
Noah Zaja. – Contributed photo

On the morning of July 18, Myles’ four-year-old son, Noah, was killed in a tragic accident when he slipped out of the house, unknown to his mother, and got too close to a closing tow-long dump trailer in front of their Paradise home.

Dealing with such a heartbreaking loss has been painfully difficult for Myles and her family, including her fiancé and Noah’s father, Marko, and daughter Avery, who celebrated her 11th birthday the day before Noah died.

“We’re doing OK,” Myles said, shrugging her shoulders and nodding her head. “OK is about as good as we can expect.

“There are no really great days, but there are lots of great things in every day.”

Not an hour goes by when she doesn’t think of Noah, and she will never erase memories of the morning he died. He had been in and out of the house, running from the playhouse in the back garden to the front garden of the house, which is nestled at the end of a quiet road in a Paradise subdivision.

When it got chilly, Myles grabbed Noah’s favourite sweater — a front zip-up, a gift from a family friend, and called him inside.

“I was putting it on him and I remember holding his face and saying to him, ‘You’re a good boy, Noah.’ That wasn’t uncommon. I told him all the time, but for some reason, in that moment, I felt the need to hold his face.

“I remember his response wasn’t like, ‘Oh, thank you.’ It was, ‘Yes, I am a good boy,’” she said, laughing.

An hour later he was gone.

“It was just so sudden,” she said. “He was just outside playing and had just been inside with us.”

“Noah Bear,” as she fondly referred to him, may not be running in and out of the house anymore, but his presence is everywhere in the home. Multiple photos of him, with his siblings, parents and friends, are placed on the walls, fireplace and side tables, his smiling face still lighting up each room.

It gives the family comfort and serves as a way of helping Lukas know his big brother, she said.

“That’s important to us,” Myles said, tearing up. “Noah was so excited about him and adored him. We plan to show Lukas (photos) and make sure he knows how special he was to Noah.”

She’s glad now she took so many pictures — her last order to Costco had 1,600 photos — and hundreds of videos of Noah since he was born.

Myles has remained fairly private since Noah’s death, but three months later feels comfortable enough to speak publicly about her experience.

Through tears, smiles and laughter, she explained that sharing her thoughts and feelings not only helps her express herself, but also helps others who have experienced similar tragedies.

Myles has started a Facebook blog, “Myles in my Shoes,” which she recently created after receiving so much response on her personal Facebook page.

In her first blog post last week, she wrote, “A popular Chinese proverb states that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I suppose this is mine. At least in such a public forum.”

She introduces herself in the blog as, “A mom of three: Avery, Noah and Lukas. I am the mother of two children I get to hold in my arms and one child I hold in my heart.”

“I’m not a writer,” said Myles, adding that her training as a child- and youth-care instructor at Eastern Academy and youth counsellor at the Janeway Children’s Hospital was helpful in managing her grief.

“It’s never something I felt I was particularly skilled at,” she says of writing.

As her eyes welled with tears, she paused before continuing. “But Noah’s life had so much meaning to us and I really wanted to try to also find some meaning in his loss.”

What she found was an overwhelming response from hundreds of people, many of whom wrote to tell her about their loss, the guilt they felt and the difficulty they felt moving on in life.

“It’s validating to me to know that other people also experience that, too.

“And they felt there was something in my message that made them feel less alone.”

Helping others has helped her heal, she said.

“Writing is helping me to piece my heart and life back together and I hope it brings some comfort to another,” she wrote.

It was also a way of saying thank you to the people across the province and country who contacted them and helped them the last three months, whether it was through fundraisers, delivered meals, or messages and well wishes.

“Somewhere in the midst of my deep pain and sorrow and darkness there was light,” she wrote in the blog.

“While I had every reason in the world to want the world to stop … to lay in my bed and lay in my grief … my two beautiful children, Marko, my friends and family and the community around us reminded me of my many reasons to be grateful — grateful for what I have, grateful for what I’ve gained and, mostly, grateful for the chance to have ever been and to be Noah’s mom.”

The community’s support is evident in the blue hearts that adorn many neighbours’ properties.

On the pavement in front of the family’s house, there’s a brightly painted smiley-faced sun and rainbow, with the words, “We love you,” care of the neighbours’ kids, Dylan and Abby.

It’s been comforting as they deal with the heartache.

In their lovely landscaped front garden, there are spots to honour Noah, from the painted rocks to a mini-memorial that includes the scooter he rode and his tiny crocks.

“Oh, he loved those crocks,” Myles said, smiling.

Noah’s grandmother, Barb Wagstaff, said the happy memories are what keeps the family going.

She remembers the pitter patter of his tiny feet going up the stairs to see his poppy, Larry Myles, the paintings for Mother’s Day and throwing grass in the pond “to feed the fish” at their cabin on Hodgewater Line. They’re memories she will cherish forever.

“There are reminders of him everywhere, like when I open the cupboard and see his favourite cereal,” Wagstaff said.

“The pain hits you in waves all the time. … I think about what he would be doing if he was here. … We value the time we had with him. He was such a blessing.”

She said she and Myles’ father feel mostly for her daughter, Marko and the children.

“As parents, you want to fix things (for your children), but we can’t fix it for her,” she said.

But Wagstaff said she admires her daughter for her strength and courage to express her feelings publicly.

“She’s been an inspiration to all of us,” Wagstaff said.

It’s been a difficult three months and it will be for many more to come as Myles deals with firsts without him and the challenges of figuring out what to say when asked how many children she has.

But for Myles, it’s her two remaining children who will get her through this the most.

“I remember Marko saying to me, no matter what happens, Lukas and Avery deserve to have the same parents they had (before Noah died),” she said.

“Not to say we won’t have time for sadness and grief, but that they deserved for us to pick up, to do things they were accustomed to. That was going to be really important.

“So, with that in mind, we get up every day and do what we need to do to be the best parents we can be for the kids.”

And in the quiet of her days, it’s that which has become loud and clear.


Rosie Mullaley is the human interest reporter for The Telegram

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CTV National News: Social media giants sued – CTV News

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CTV National News: Social media giants sued  CTV News

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India’s media – captured and censored

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Across almost every form of media in India – social, broadcast and print – Narendra Modi and the BJP hold sway.

With India amid a national election campaign, its news media is in sharp focus. Until recently it was believed that the sheer diversity of outlets ensured a range of perspectives, but now, India’s mainstream media has largely been co-opted by the Bharatiya Janata Party and Prime Minister Narendra Modi. Just how did the media in India get to this point and what does it mean for the upcoming elections?

Featuring:

Ravish Kumar – Former Host, NDTV
Shashi Shekhar Vempati – Former CEO, Prasar Bharati
Pramod Raman – Chief Editor, MediaOne
Amy Kazmin – Former South Asia Bureau Chief, Financial Times
Meena Kotwal – Founder, The Mooknayak

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Social media lawsuit launched by Ontario school boards

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Premier Doug Ford says that lawsuits launched by four Ontario school boards against multiple social media platforms are “nonsense” and risk becoming a distraction to the work that really matters.

The school boards, including three in the Greater Toronto Area, have launched lawsuits seeking $4.5 billion in damages against Snapchat, TikTok, and Meta, the owner of both Facebook and Instagram, for creating products that they allege negligently interfere with student learning and have caused “widespread disruption to the education system.”

But at an unrelated news conference in Ottawa on Friday, Ford said that he “disagrees” with the legal action and worries it could take the focus away from “the core values of education.”

“Let’s focus on math, reading and writing. That is what we need to do, put all the resources into the kids,” he said. “What are they spending lawyers fees to go after these massive companies that have endless cash to fight this? Let’s focus on the kids, not this other nonsense that they are looking to fight in court.”

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Four separate but similar statements of claim were filed in Ontario’s Superior Court of JusticSocial media lawsuit launched by Ontario school boards pervasive problems such as distraction, social withdrawal, cyberbullying, a rapid escalation of aggression, and mental health challenges,” Colleen Russell-Rawlins, the director of education with the Toronto District School Board, said in a news release issued Thursday.

“It is imperative that we take steps to ensure the well-being of our youth. We are calling for measures to be implemented to mitigate these harms and prioritize the mental health and academic success of our future generation.”

The school boards are represented by Toronto-based law firm Neinstein LLP and the news release states that school boards “will not be responsible for any costs related to the lawsuit unless a successful outcome is reached.”

These lawsuits come as hundreds of school districts in the United States file similar suits.

“A strong education system is the foundation of our society and our community. Social media products and the changes in behaviour, judgement and attention that they cause pose a threat to that system and to the student population our schools serve,” Duncan Embury, the head of litigation at Neinstein LLP, said in the new release.

“We are proud to support our schools and students in this litigation with the goal of holding social media giants accountable and creating meaningful change.”

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