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High Expectations Negatively Impact Your Emotional Landscape

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The relationship between your expectations and your emotions is direct; for this reason, it’s wise to cultivate the skill of managing your expectations.

The difference between your expectations and reality, sometimes chasmic, determines how often you experience hurt, disappointment, anger, stress, happiness, or satisfaction. Imagine the rollercoaster of emotions generated by waking up on a sunny morning, expecting to start your day with a cup of coffee, and then finding out your coffee machine isn’t working.

We’re creative at creating narratives to soothe ourselves, especially regarding how our choices today will influence our tomorrows. When we set out to do something, we always expect everything to turn out exactly how we want. Does this sound familiar?

 

  • “After I graduate, companies will line up to hire me, offering me a great salary so I can live comfortably.”
  • “Tessa is the love of my life. We’ll date for a few months, move in together, get married, buy a house in the suburbs with a big backyard and a two-car garage, and have kids. BOOM! Happy life.”
  • “My business idea is fail-proof. Venture capitalists will be clamouring to invest in my startup. I’ll hire some awesome talent to build my product and business. In five years, I’ll sell the company for $300 million.”
  • “I’ll make videos of me doing something daring and upload them on Instagram. My videos will go viral, and voila, I’ll be a social media celebrity, inundated with endorsement offers.”

 

Do these scenarios have a chance of becoming reality? I can’t say exactly, but I’d wager it’s close to zero.

 

Reality check:

  • A degree doesn’t guarantee a successful career. Most people underestimate the effort and sacrifices required to achieve the career success they claim to want.
  • The odds of finding your soulmate, let alone having a long-term relationship with them, is slim, especially as we live increasingly online, choosing to build relationships through the Internet rather than investing in personal interactions, which require venturing out. Finding your soulmate is less likely if you’re not physically “out there.”
  • According to the website Failory, up to 90% of startups fail.
  • Becoming a social media celebrity… really?

 

I’m not trying to discourage dreams; however, pragmatism never hurts. It’s impractical to have high expectations (aka. unrealistic expectations) because they’re more likely not to come true and do more emotional harm than good. This is certainly true when it comes to what we expect from our purchases.

 

Until recently, my consumerism was driven by the narratives I kept telling myself about expected outcomes. A few years ago, I said to myself that when I buy a new laptop and subscribe to a writing app, I’ll write more. So, after I Googled “What’s the best laptop for writers,” I bought XYZ laptop and subscribed to a recommended writing app. The result: my writing output remained the same.

 

Here’s what I noticed about my consumerism, which likely applies to you. When buying with an “expected outcome” narrative running in my head, I’m happy. When the expected outcome doesn’t materialize, I become unhappy, frustrated, and angry. To get the happy endorphin rush again, I create a new expected outcome narrative. For example, I’ll say to myself if I wear an Omega watch, I’ll be viewed as a James Bond-type guy. Expected outcomes are how I ended up with an ’82 Corvette, several leather jackets, countless self-help books, and As Seen On TV products (If it’s too good to be true…) and taking expensive vitamin supplements.

 

Marketers leverage our never-ending quest to find and/or create happiness by weaving into their product promises, either explicitly or implied, that their product is what you need to be happy, desirable, respected, and, most importantly, accepted. Buying stuff with the expectation that it’ll make us happy or that people will perceive us differently and, therefore, treat us differently defines Western consumerism. A good deal of our unhappiness is the result of our stuff not meeting our expectations.

 

Divorcing myself from high expectations has taken me a long time. Actually, my divorce has yet to be finalized. Having high standards, being driven, and aiming high is a good thing; just don’t let your imagination, or worse, your sense of entitlement, create expected outcome narratives that determine your purchases, reasons to pursue, timelines and expected outcomes.

 

I’m not sharing some earth-shattering lifehack. We all know through repeated experience that our expectations influence our emotions. Aside from “our product will change your life!” marketing propaganda and seeking shortcuts to happiness, recognition, and respect, what else influences our expectations?

 

  • People post their filtered lives on social media.
  • Seeing those around you driving a new automobile, living in a beautiful home, vacationing twice a year, and raving about the restaurants they frequent. (Never said: Their debt burden to support their projected lifestyle.)

 

Thanks to easy access to credit and social media, fake success is everywhere, which subconsciously makes us want more than we already have, which is probably enough. The key to lowering your expectations is to reduce your desire for attention and recognition, to be seen as successful, and to have your beliefs, values, and culture universally accepted. Set your expectations based on what’s most important—what you’ve probably been neglecting—your best interests.

 

The most manageable lever you can pull that’ll help you achieve happiness and ratch down your stress isn’t your reality; it’s your expectations.

 

In a world that seems spiralling downward, lowering your expectations is a form of self-kindness you probably need right now.

______________________________________________________________

Nick Kossovan is the Customer Service Professionals Network’s Social Media Director (Executive Board Member). Feel free to send your social media questions to nick.kossovan@gmail.com. On Twitter and Instagram, follow @NKossovan.

 

 

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Bad traffic, changed plans: Toronto braces for uncertainty of its Taylor Swift Era

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TORONTO – Will Taylor Swift bring chaos or do we all need to calm down?

It’s a question many Torontonians are asking this week as the city braces for the arrival of Swifties, the massive fan base of one of the world’s biggest pop stars.

Hundreds of thousands are expected to descend on the downtown core for the singer’s six concerts which kick off Thursday at the Rogers Centre and run until Nov. 23.

And while their arrival will be a boon to tourism dollars — the city estimates more than $282 million in economic impact — some worry it could worsen Toronto’s gridlock by clogging streets that already come to a standstill during rush hour.

Swift’s shows are set to collide with sports events at the nearby Scotiabank Arena, including a Raptors game on Friday and a Leafs game on Saturday.

Some residents and local businesses have already adjusted their plans to avoid the area and its planned road closures.

Aahil Dayani says he and some friends intended to throw a birthday bash for one of their pals until they realized it would overlap with the concerts.

“Something as simple as getting together and having dinner is now thrown out the window,” he said.

Dayani says the group rescheduled the gathering for after Swift leaves town. In the meantime, he plans to hunker down at his Toronto residence.

“Her coming into town has kind of changed up my social life,” he added.

“We’re pretty much just not doing anything.”

Max Sinclair, chief executive and founder of A.I. technology firm Ecomtent, suggested his employees avoid the company’s downtown offices on concert days, saying he doesn’t see the point in forcing people to endure potential traffic jams.

“It’s going to be less productive for us, and it’s going to be just a pain for everyone, so it’s easier to avoid it,” Sinclair said.

“We’re a hybrid company, so we can be flexible. It just makes sense.”

Swift’s concerts are the latest pop culture moment to draw attention to Toronto’s notoriously disastrous daily commute.

In June, One Direction singer Niall Horan uploaded a social media video of himself walking through traffic to reach the venue for his concert.

“Traffic’s too bad in Toronto, so we’re walking to the venue,” he wrote in the post.

Toronto Transit Commission spokesperson Stuart Green says the public agency has been working for more than a year on plans to ease the pressure of so many Swifties in one confined area.

“We are preparing for something that would be akin to maybe the Beatles coming in the ‘60s,” he said.

Dozens of buses and streetcars have been added to transit routes around the stadium, and the TTC has consulted the city on potential emergency scenarios.

Green will be part of a command centre operated by the City of Toronto and staffed by Toronto police leaders, emergency services and others who have handled massive gatherings including the Raptors’ NBA championship parade in 2019.

“There may be some who will say we’re over-preparing, and that’s fair,” Green said.

“But we know based on what’s happened in other places, better to be over-prepared than under-prepared.”

Metrolinx, the agency for Ontario’s GO Transit system, has also added extra trips and extended hours in some regions to accommodate fans looking to travel home.

A day before Swift’s first performance, the city began clearing out tents belonging to homeless people near the venue. The city said two people were offered space in a shelter.

“As the area around Rogers Centre is expected to receive a high volume of foot traffic in the coming days, this area has been prioritized for outreach work to ensure the safety of individuals in encampments, other residents, businesses and visitors — as is standard for large-scale events,” city spokesperson Russell Baker said in a statement.

Homeless advocate Diana Chan McNally questioned whether money and optics were behind the measure.

“People (in the area) are already in close proximity to concerts, sports games, and other events that generate massive amounts of traffic — that’s nothing new,” she said in a statement.

“If people were offered and willingly accepted a shelter space, free of coercion, I support that fully — that’s how it should happen.”

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Nov. 13, 2024.



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‘It’s literally incredible’: Swifties line up for merch ahead of Toronto concerts

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TORONTO – Hundreds of Taylor Swift fans lined up outside the gates of Toronto’s Rogers Centre Wednesday, with hopes of snagging some of the pop star’s merchandise on the eve of the first of her six sold-out shows in the city.

Swift is slated to perform at the venue from Thursday to Saturday, and the following week from Nov. 21 to Nov. 23, with concert merchandise available for sale on some non-show days.

Swifties were all smiles as they left the merch shop, their arms full of sweaters and posters bearing pictures of the star and her Eras Tour logo.

Among them was Zoe Haronitis, 22, who said she waited in line for about two hours to get $300 worth of merchandise, including some apparel for her friends.

Haronitis endured the autumn cold and the hefty price tag even though she hasn’t secured a concert ticket. She said she’s hunting down a resale ticket and plans to spend up to $600.

“I haven’t really budgeted anything,” Haronitis said. “I don’t care how much money I spent. That was kind of my mindset.”

The megastar’s merchandise costs up to $115 for a sweater, and $30 for tote bags and other accessories.

Rachel Renwick, 28, also waited a couple of hours in line for merchandise, but only spent about $70 after learning that a coveted blue sweater and a crewneck had been snatched up by other eager fans before she got to the shop. She had been prepared to spend much more, she said.

“The two prized items sold out. I think a lot more damage would have been done,” Renwick said, adding she’s still determined to buy a sweater at a later date.

Renwick estimated she’s spent about $500 in total on “all-things Eras Tour,” including her concert outfit and merchandise.

The long queue for Swift merch is just a snapshot of what the city will see in the coming days. It’s estimated that up to 500,000 visitors from outside Toronto will be in town during the concert period.

Tens of thousands more are also expected to attend Taylgate’24, an unofficial Swiftie fan event scheduled to be held at the nearby Metro Toronto Convention Centre.

Meanwhile, Destination Toronto has said it anticipates the economic impact of the Eras Tour could grow to $282 million as the money continues to circulate.

But for fans like Haronitis, the experience in Toronto comes down to the Swiftie community. Knowing that Swift is going to be in the city for six shows and seeing hundreds gather just for merchandise is “awesome,” she said.

Even though Haronitis hasn’t officially bought her ticket yet, she said she’s excited to see the megastar.

“It’s literally incredible.”

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Nov. 13, 2024.

The Canadian Press. All rights reserved.



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Via Rail seeks judicial review on CN’s speed restrictions

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OTTAWA – Via Rail is asking for a judicial review on the reasons why Canadian National Railway Co. has imposed speed restrictions on its new passenger trains.

The Crown corporation says it is seeking the review from the Federal Court after many attempts at dialogue with the company did not yield valid reasoning for the change.

It says the restrictions imposed last month are causing daily delays on Via Rail’s Québec City-Windsor corridor, affecting thousands of passengers and damaging Via Rail’s reputation with travellers.

CN says in a statement that it imposed the restrictions at rail crossings given the industry’s experience and known risks associated with similar trains.

The company says Via has asked the courts to weigh in even though Via has agreed to buy the equipment needed to permanently fix the issues.

Via said in October that no incidents at level crossings have been reported in the two years since it put 16 Siemens Venture trains into operation.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Nov. 13, 2024.

Companies in this story: (TSX:CN)

The Canadian Press. All rights reserved.



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