Your Thanksgiving dinner doesn’t need to be a debate. Plan discussion topics ahead of time that don’t have to do with politics. And avoid the alcohol!
Jeanne Safer | Opinion contributor
Four years ago, around this time of year, a strange new emotional malady appeared all over America. I call it “Thanksgiving Derangement Syndrome.” Since then, it has steadily increased in severity and pervasiveness. You’ll probably recognize the symptoms in family members or, alas, in yourself.
TDS afflicts people who spend the Thanksgiving holiday with family members of opposite political persuasions from their own, from which few families are exempt. Sufferers exhibit the following behaviors: Dread of Thanksgiving dinner with relatives from the other party, a tendency to drink too much and, most ominously, an uncontrollable compulsion to engage in bruising political arguments that make everybody present miserable, embittered, and in a hurry to leave. It’s also easy to catch, and hard to control once a family is infected, and it afflicts partisans of both sides equally.
What makes the syndrome so recalcitrant is that the most striking symptom is not recognizing that you have it (of course, you think everybody on the other side does), but it takes a toll nonetheless. Getting drawn in feels irresistible. In fact, a study showed that people who crossed political lines in either direction to get to a Thanksgiving dinner in 2016 spent 30 to 50 fewer minutes at the festivities than people who celebrated with like-minded relatives. Some people surely found themselves not invited back in 2017.
Now, after one of the most contentious elections in modern times, there’s every indication that tensions will be worse than ever this year.
Prevention is the best medicine
Even though no vaccine for TDS has yet been discovered, there is hope! By following a few sensible recommendations and rules of conduct, and making efforts to be self-aware and exercising a modicum of self-control, serious damage and many regrettable unfriendings on social media can be averted.
The best way to avoid a political fight is both simple and difficult: avoid discussing politics — you know who you’ll be talking to and you know where the conversation will inevitably go, so take charge. Just say no, but with a smile: “It’s Thanksgiving. Let’s not talk about the election — I haven’t seen you since last year, and there’s so much else to say.” Think of apolitical topics in advance, such as what has the other person and his or her family members, or you and yours, have been up to. Some people find sports a useful antidote.
Also, feel free to intervene to stop a conversation between others that is rapidly devolving into a brawl — the other guests will thank you. Do not think of this as being impolite, but as providing a public service. And if you’re the host or hostess, you can set the tone by requesting an embargo on political discussions for the duration, and enforcing this dictum. Preventing a conversation among guests from getting nasty is your prerogative.
But you have to do something first in order to accomplish any of this: Don’t drink alcohol. Or, at very least, stop at one glass of wine. If you imbibe to excess, you’re sure to raise your voice when somebody from the other side makes a provocative remark, or to make one yourself. A raised voice is universally interpreted as shouting, and rational conversation stops there.
You are not convincing anyone
And don’t even think about bringing an article or flashing a website on your phone to show someone the light. It has never, ever worked, and it won’t work for you, no matter how persuasive it appears to you.
Inhibit your compulsion to start a conversation with “I’m just thrilled that Biden won” or “I’m so devastated that Trump lost.” Gloating in triumph or grieving over defeats your interlocutor does not feel are equally offensive and off-putting. Why court disaster?
Sometimes, with lots of effort, it may be possible to talk about politics with someone who disagrees by making it an abstract discussion (“What do you think Trump should have done differently?” for example), but Thanksgiving dinner is no place to practice this difficult skill. It’s taken me 40 years in a politically-mixed marriage to learn it.
There is a psychological truth underlying these recommendations that nobody seems to acknowledge: No matter how eloquent you think you are, or how much you are convinced that your opinions are the only correct ones, you’re unlikely to change human nature. Accept that you can’t win any political fight (people don’t change because we want them to), but you can ruin a dinner and seriously damage or destroy a relationship.
Is it worth it? Remember there is no dearth of like-minded comrades who will be delighted to talk with you about the race ad infinitem; seek them out on another occasion. Meanwhile, bon appétit!
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau says the NDP is caving to political pressure from Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre when it comes to their stance on the consumer carbon price.
Trudeau says he believes Jagmeet Singh and the NDP care about the environment, but it’s “increasingly obvious” that they have “no idea” what to do about climate change.
On Thursday, Singh said the NDP is working on a plan that wouldn’t put the burden of fighting climate change on the backs of workers, but wouldn’t say if that plan would include a consumer carbon price.
Singh’s noncommittal position comes as the NDP tries to frame itself as a credible alternative to the Conservatives in the next federal election.
Poilievre responded to that by releasing a video, pointing out that the NDP has voted time and again in favour of the Liberals’ carbon price.
British Columbia Premier David Eby also changed his tune on Thursday, promising that a re-elected NDP government would scrap the long-standing carbon tax and shift the burden to “big polluters,” if the federal government dropped its requirements.
This report by The Canadian Press was first published Sept. 13, 2024.
Simon Jolin-Barrette, minister responsible for consumer protection, has tabled a bill to force merchants to calculate tips based on the price before tax.
That means on a restaurant bill of $100, suggested tips would be calculated based on $100, not on $114.98 after provincial and federal sales taxes are added.
The bill would also increase the rebate offered to consumers when the price of an item at the cash register is higher than the shelf price, to $15 from $10.
And it would force grocery stores offering a discounted price for several items to clearly list the unit price as well.
Businesses would also have to indicate whether taxes will be added to the price of food products.
This report by The Canadian Press was first published Sept. 12, 2024.
Quebec legislature member Youri Chassin has announced he’s leaving the Coalition Avenir Québec government to sit as an Independent.
He announced the decision shortly after writing an open letter criticizing Premier François Legault’s government for abandoning its principles of smaller government.
In the letter published in Le Journal de Montréal and Le Journal de Québec, Chassin accused the party of falling back on what he called the old formula of throwing money at problems instead of looking to do things differently.
Chassin says public services are more fragile than ever, despite rising spending that pushed the province to a record $11-billion deficit projected in the last budget.
He is the second CAQ member to leave the party in a little more than one week, after economy and energy minister Pierre Fitzgibbon announced Sept. 4 he would leave because he lost motivation to do his job.
Chassin says he has no intention of joining another party and will instead sit as an Independent until the end of his term.
He has represented the Saint-Jérôme riding since the CAQ rose to power in 2018, but has not served in cabinet.
This report by The Canadian Press was first published Sept. 12, 2024.
