For many in America it is an unspoken rule not to talk politics at the dinner table. Families tried their best to avoid disagreements that may lead to an uncomfortable meal. For too long, if tensions happened to rise from a political disagreement, one could easily leave the meal and retreat to a “safe space.” This type of evasive behavior has infected the political world and led to a culture where people are taught to avoid discomfort.
Finishing up my college semester in a Zoom formatted course led to the use of “break out rooms,” which randomly generated pairs in the class to have conversations. I was assigned to join a breakout room with a Muslim woman who was a recent immigrant to the United States. Having myself lived abroad, in Vienna, Austria from 2010-2015, I was able to empathize with her concerns about assimilating into a new society.
My own grandmother was a Jewish woman who went on a treacherous, months-long journey to reach America during the Holocaust in order to avoid the inevitable death she would have faced by staying in Europe. As a teenager in Austria I found myself a part of the nation she had escaped. I played on an all-German speaking soccer team made up of Austrians, Turkish immigrants and coached by a Syrian Muslim immigrant. Political exchanges occurred in both the locker room and on the field. There was no escape. Through broken German, Turkish, and English the team was able to learn about each other and win some games at the same time.
Later, on our college Zoom, though my classmate and I turned out to have very different political views, our conversation opened my eyes to the need for civil discourse and reminded me once again how being open with one another is more rewarding than staying in one’s own comfort zone.
America is a nation that prides itself on the diversity of its citizens and their differing perspectives. It is necessary that we, as Americans, be able to communicate across our differences. Passionate discussion of political views, and a willingness to embrace discomfort, will help create a nation that can work through any problem. At the simplest level this is rooted on having respectful discourse, even over a meal. One must be able to talk politics at the dinner table. Political conversation will be achieved first with one’s family and then with the world.
As a result of the global pandemic many families who have long been apart are now under one roof. Why not use this time to start having political conversations we might have shied away from in the past? And no getting up and leaving the table if things get a bit intense!
Embrace discomfort and learn from new perspectives. Let our current predicament help create a culture that is capable of working through difficult challenges with people from all over the political spectrum. This culture must attempt to find fair compromises, or at least acknowledge what was gained from a new perspective. The patience necessary to listen to ones fellow citizens and the respect needed to facilitate change can originate over the course of a meal.
Yes, in life there are times to walk away from uncomfortable situations, but it is better in this age that we finish the meal together. Our politicians could learn a lesson by sharing a burger and fries with groups they choose to ignore or dislike. It is all too easy for individuals to seek refuge in the face of discomfort, or for people to argue on social media hidden behind the screen of their device. Starting at the dinner table and leading into life there will be disagreements, but hastily leaving the dinner table in the face of such conflict should not have to be the inevitable outcome.
Talking politics at the dinner table and learning to embrace discomfort, will lead to a more empathetic, unified, and stronger nation.
George Ladner is a rising senior at Dickinson College.
