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Politics leads to Facebook 'unfriending' – The Boston Globe

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Q. I recently “unfriended” my dear older sister on Facebook because some of our political views differ — so rather than see her postings that differ from my views, I decided to eliminate that tension.

Before the unfriending, I tried to “unfollow” her, but then I’d miss her posts about other things, so I’d check her page and eventually see more politics. I just can’t stop offering my opinions when she posts, and then I feel chastised when she defends her point of view.

We don’t hang out a lot, but when we are together we don’t normally talk politics; and if something uncomfortable (for me) comes up, I change the subject.

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My sister says, “OK, fine. We’ll just live in a world of unicorns and rainbows.” She is obviously not happy that I unfriended her.

She says everyone has differing opinions, and that’s OK.

Is she right? Am I living in a fantasy world by trying to keep the tension out of our relationship?

Am I oversensitive?

LITTLE SISTER

A. My take on this is that you do seem sensitive and very protective of your point of view. But (speaking as a “little sister” myself), the age differential between siblings often conveys a lifetime of dominance.

Your less-sensitive older sister feels comfortable staking her claim and then defending it when you offer your own views. You interpret this as “tension,” but she seems to see it as a back-and-forth. She may also enjoy needling you regarding your sensitivity.

I suspect that after two weeks of being disconnected on social media, your blood pressure will stay down, you will stop feeling guilty, and you will enjoy not being reactive and triggered by your sister’s postings.

The next time she teases you about living in a fantasy world, I suggest you demonstrate that you are unruffled. Send her a GIF of a unicorn leaping over a rainbow with the statement: “Life in my fantasy world is even better than I imagined. Love you, sis — let’s talk soon.”

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Q. I feel betrayed by a friend of 20 years. We live close by, but rarely get together because she spends almost all her time with her husband. They don’t entertain or get together with friends or family. I don’t know why that is, but it is obviously a very personal decision and not my business.

“Jane” and I e-mailed back and forth several times a day, discussing every imaginable subject, including some extremely personal things. I have told her things that I have never told anyone else.

I recently joined a senior dating website. Every so often, I would share some e-mails men had sent me, and she would write back her comments. This has been fun.

Last week she wrote to ask me to stop sharing any dating-related e-mails. She said that when her husband reads those messages, he misunderstands that they are to me and not to her, and he freaks out. (Jane is in her 70s and her husband is in his 80s.)

I feel devastated to know that her husband has been reading our e-mails for 20 years and I did not know it. I am reminded of an old saying: “The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.”

How can I get over this?

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DEVASTATED

A. You don’t know that “Jane’s” husband reads all of her e-mails — and has for 20 years.

Her husband could have cognitive (or other) problems that have brought this on recently. The fact is, as intimate as your friendship with Jane is, you don’t seem to know much about her situation.

The way to get over this is to try to understand it. You should tell Jane that you are surprised and concerned that her husband reads her e-mail and ask if she could give you a call so you two could talk about it.

Q. Here’s another suggestion for how to get someone to stop interrupting: Many years ago when I obviously interrupted a friend, the friend stopped me dead in my tracks by saying, “I bet you thought I was finished.”

I was unaware of my tendency to interrupt people until it was so vividly pointed out. It was a lesson learned and was a great way to teach me and the others who were there a lesson that I never forgot.

GRATEFUL

A. I love this phrasing (and expect a loved one to use it on me very soon).

Amy Dickinson can be reached at askamy@amydickinson.com.

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Politics

A look at Susan Holt, Liberal premier-designate of New Brunswick

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FREDERICTON – A look at Susan Holt, premier-designate and leader of the New Brunswick Liberal party.

Born: April 22, 1977.

Early years: Raised in Fredericton, she attended Queen’s University in Kingston, Ont., and then spent a year in Toronto before moving abroad for three years, spending time in Australia and India.

Education: Earned a bachelor of arts in economics and a bachelor of science in chemistry from Queen’s University.

Family: Lives in Fredericton with her husband, Jon Holt, and three young daughters.

Hobbies: Running, visiting the farmers market in Fredericton with her family every Saturday.

Before politics: CEO of the Fredericton Chamber of Commerce, CEO of the New Brunswick Business Council, civil servant, business lobbyist, advocate, consultant and executive with an IT service company that trains and employs Indigenous people.

Politics: Worked as an adviser to former Liberal premier Brian Gallant. Won the leadership of the provincial Liberal party in August 2022 and was elected to the legislature in an April 2023 byelection.

Quote: “We don’t take it lightly that you have put your trust in myself and my team, and you have hope for a brighter future. But that hope I know is short-lived and it will be on us to deliver authentically, on the ground, and openly and transparently.” — Susan Holt, in her speech to supporters in Fredericton after the Liberals won a majority government on Oct. 21, 2024.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Oct. 21, 2024.

The Canadian Press. All rights reserved.

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New Brunswick Liberals win majority, Susan Holt first woman to lead province

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FREDERICTON – New Brunswick voters have elected a Liberal majority government, tossing out the incumbent Progressive Conservatives after six years in power and handing the reins to the first woman ever to lead the province.

Liberal Leader Susan Holt is a relative newcomer to the province’s political scene, having won a byelection last year, eight months after she became the first woman to win the leadership of the party.

The Liberals appeared poised to take 31 of 49 seats to the Conservatives’ 16 and the Greens two.

Holt, 47, led the Liberals to victory after a 33-day campaign, thwarting Blaine Higgs’s bid to secure a third term as Tory premier.

The Liberal win marks a strong repudiation of Higgs’s pronounced shift to more socially conservative policies.

Higgs, meanwhile, lost in his riding of Quispamsis. In a speech to supporters in the riding, he confirmed that he would begin a leadership transition process.

As the Liberals secured their majority, Green Party Leader David Coon thanked his supporters and pledged to continue building the party, but he then turned his sights on the premier. “One thing is for sure,” he told a crowd gathered at Dolan’s Pub in Fredericton, “we know that Blaine Higgs is no longer the premier of this province.”

The election race was largely focused on health care and affordability but was notable for the remarkably dissimilar campaign styles of Holt and Higgs. Holt repeatedly promised to bring a balanced approach to governing, pledging a sharp contrast to Higgs’s “one-man show taking New Brunswick to the far right.”

“We need a government that acts as a partner and not as a dictator from one office in Fredericton,” she said in a recent interview with The Canadian Press.

Higgs focused on the high cost of living, promising to lower the provincial harmonized sales tax by two percentage points to 13 per cent — a pledge that will cost the province about $450 million annually.

Holt spent much of the campaign rolling out proposed fixes for a health-care system racked by a doctor shortage, overcrowded emergency rooms and long wait-times. A former business advocate and public servant, she promised to open 30 community health clinics across the province by 2028; remove the provincial sales tax from electricity bills; overhaul mental health services; and impose a three per cent cap on rent increases by 2025.

The 70-year-old Tory leader, a mechanical engineer and former Irving Oil executive, led a low-key campaign, during which he didn’t have any scheduled public events on at least 10 days — and was absent from the second leaders debate on Oct. 9.

Holt missed only two days of campaigning and submitted a 30-page platform with 100 promises, a far heftier document than the Tories’ two-page platform that includes 11 pledges.

When the election was called on Sept. 19, the Conservatives held 25 seats in the 49-seat legislature. The Liberals held 16 seats, the Green Party had three, there was one Independent and four vacancies. At least 25 seats are needed for a majority.

Higgs was hoping to become the first New Brunswick premier to win three consecutive elections since Liberal Frank McKenna won his third straight majority in 1995. But it was clear from the start that Higgs would have to overcome some big obstacles.

On the first day of the campaign, a national survey showed he had the lowest approval rating of any premier in the country. That same morning, Higgs openly mused about how he was perceived by the public, suggesting people had the wrong idea about who he really is.

“I really wish that people could know me outside of politics,” he said, adding that a sunnier disposition might increase his popularity. “I don’t know whether I’ve got to do comedy hour or I’ve got to smile more.”

Still, Higgs had plenty to boast about, including six consecutive balanced budgets, a significant reduction in the province’s debt, income tax cuts and a booming population.

Higgs’s party was elected to govern in 2018, when the Tories formed the province’s first minority government in almost 100 years. In 2020, he called a snap election — marking the first province to go to the polls during the COVID-19 pandemic — and won a slim majority.

Since then, 14 Tory caucus members have stepped down after clashing with the premier, some of them citing what they described as an authoritarian leadership style and a focus on conservative policies that represented a hard shift to the right.

A caucus revolt erupted last year after Higgs announced changes to the gender identity policy in schools. When several Tory lawmakers voted for an external review of the change, Higgs dropped dissenters from cabinet. A bid by some party members to trigger a leadership review went nowhere.

Higgs has also said a Tory government would reject all new applications for supervised drug-consumption sites, renew a legal challenge against the federal carbon pricing scheme and force people into drug treatment if authorities deem they “pose a threat to themselves or others.”

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Oct. 21, 2024.

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National revenue minister to leave federal politics, run for Sherbrooke mayor

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SHERBROOKE, Que. – National Revenue Minister Marie-Claude Bibeau will run for mayor of Sherbrooke, Que., in the municipal elections slated for next fall.

The Liberal MP for the Quebec riding of Compton-Stanstead confirmed Monday morning that she will complete her current term in Ottawa, but will not seek re-election.

Bibeau, who has been national revenue minister since July 2023, was first elected in 2015 and has since spent time as minister of agriculture, international development and la Francophonie.

Bibeau said her campaign has not officially begun and she will continue to focus on her work as an MP, but she plans to run as an independent candidate to replace outgoing Mayor Évelyne Beaudin, who has already confirmed she will not seek re-election.

Quebec’s municipal elections are scheduled for Nov. 2, 2025, while the next federal election must take place no later than Oct. 20, though the minority Liberal government could fall before then.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is expected to shuffle his cabinet soon to replace Bibeau and three other ministers who have informed him they don’t plan to run in the next election.

Bibeau’s spouse, Bernard Sévigny, was mayor of Sherbrooke from 2009 to 2017.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Oct. 21, 2024.

The Canadian Press. All rights reserved.

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