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When Facebook Politics Get Extra Personal – The New York Times

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As the presidential election draws near, I would like to like to post a message on my Facebook timeline that says: “If any of my Facebook friends plan on voting for a particular candidate, I would appreciate your doing me the courtesy of unfriending me. I no longer want to be associated with people who share a worldview, political views or, most important, the same set of morals as this candidate. They are completely antithetical to mine.” My husband thinks I should not make this post. You?

S.

Is a friend who was kind to you — during a rough patch in college, say — any less kind because she supports a different candidate than you do? I would feel differently if she actually made offensive Facebook posts. But you’re trying to police people’s thoughts.

Let’s go a step further: The best predictor (and reinforcer) of political views these days may be our media and social media diets. But our best hope for useful talks with people from seemingly unbridgeable political silos is that, once, in real life, we were good to each other. This makes me more hesitant to ask Facebook friends to scram.

Your social media is yours, though. You may use it as you like. So, if you’re too exhausted, aggravated or hurt to interact with people who disagree with you, based on their choice of political candidate, you’re free to ask them to leave your Facebook page.

If I were you, though, I’d take a break from Facebook instead. Come back when you’re ready to explore what connects you to the friends you now want to disown. Canceling people is easy. Reconnecting with them is hard, but it’s the only productive way forward. We need that now, even on the small scale of your Facebook page.

Credit…Christoph Niemann

My twin sons were born two months premature. After three months in the neonatal I.C.U., we were finally able to bring them home. We’ve been practicing strict social distancing. My sister-in-law, who lives in another state, will soon be visiting my mother-in-law nearby. She’s asked if she can visit the twins, and I said sure, as long as she quarantines for 10 days and wears a mask. (She hasn’t been careful about coronavirus risks.) She freaked out and told me I was being ridiculous. The problem: She has mental health issues, and my husband and mother-in-law worry that the smallest thing may set her off. What should I do?

CONCERNED MOM

I’m sorry for this extra stressor. But I may have a solution that avoids making your sister-in-law feel singled out. Once she sets foot in her mother’s home (presumably, without quarantining), insist that both of them wait for two weeks before they visit you and the twins.

Let the quarantine be an experience of togetherness for your mother- and sister-in-law. And explain the need for masks and social distancing. (How can you possibly keep infants’ fingers out of their mouths?) Catering to the needs of others is great if you can manage it safely, but not at the expense of your fragile babies’ health.

I am a rising senior in college. This spring, I worked a remote internship along with taking classes. I had a great time! An acquaintance, whom I really dislike, has been texting me twice a week, asking me to put him in touch with my boss so he can get an internship too. I’ve tried dodging him, with little success. But I’m uncomfortable with this. I was only an intern! And even if could recommend someone, it wouldn’t be this guy. How do I say no, without letting him know I despise him?

ANONYMOUS

Eventually, you may discover that there’s success enough for everyone, even (especially!) those we dislike. But you’re not there yet. (I wasn’t either in college.) For now, give your nemesis the company’s general email address.

Tell him, as a former intern, you have little (if any) influence with your former boss and you intend to reserve it for yourself, so you won’t be recommending anyone. He may think you’re a selfish jerk, but there’s a value in learning to say no directly.

My financial situation hasn’t been affected by Covid-19 (yet), so I continued paying my dog walker during the pandemic even though he didn’t work. It seemed fair. Now that my city is reopening and dog walkers are permitted to work again, mine has decided not to return to the city. So, I decided not to pay him for June; it was his decision not to come back. My daughter thinks I should continue paying him until I find a replacement. You?

J.

Listen, it’s your money, and you’ve been generous with it. Why not continue the logic of pandemic payment to its natural end? Prorate payment for the month of June to the date your city allowed dog walkers to return. If your daughter wants to give your dog walker more, she can.


For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com, to Philip Galanes on Facebook or @SocialQPhilip on Twitter.

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Youri Chassin quits CAQ to sit as Independent, second member to leave this month

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Quebec legislature member Youri Chassin has announced he’s leaving the Coalition Avenir Québec government to sit as an Independent.

He announced the decision shortly after writing an open letter criticizing Premier François Legault’s government for abandoning its principles of smaller government.

In the letter published in Le Journal de Montréal and Le Journal de Québec, Chassin accused the party of falling back on what he called the old formula of throwing money at problems instead of looking to do things differently.

Chassin says public services are more fragile than ever, despite rising spending that pushed the province to a record $11-billion deficit projected in the last budget.

He is the second CAQ member to leave the party in a little more than one week, after economy and energy minister Pierre Fitzgibbon announced Sept. 4 he would leave because he lost motivation to do his job.

Chassin says he has no intention of joining another party and will instead sit as an Independent until the end of his term.

He has represented the Saint-Jérôme riding since the CAQ rose to power in 2018, but has not served in cabinet.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Sept. 12, 2024.

The Canadian Press. All rights reserved.

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‘I’m not going to listen to you’: Singh responds to Poilievre’s vote challenge

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MONTREAL – NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh says he will not be taking advice from Pierre Poilievre after the Conservative leader challenged him to bring down government.

“I say directly to Pierre Poilievre: I’m not going to listen to you,” said Singh on Wednesday, accusing Poilievre of wanting to take away dental-care coverage from Canadians, among other things.

“I’m not going to listen to your advice. You want to destroy people’s lives, I want to build up a brighter future.”

Earlier in the day, Poilievre challenged Singh to commit to voting non-confidence in the government, saying his party will force a vote in the House of Commons “at the earliest possibly opportunity.”

“I’m asking Jagmeet Singh and the NDP to commit unequivocally before Monday’s byelections: will they vote non-confidence to bring down the costly coalition and trigger a carbon tax election, or will Jagmeet Singh sell out Canadians again?” Poilievre said.

“It’s put up or shut up time for the NDP.”

While Singh rejected the idea he would ever listen to Poilievre, he did not say how the NDP would vote on a non-confidence motion.

“I’ve said on any vote, we’re going to look at the vote and we’ll make our decision. I’m not going to say our decision ahead of time,” he said.

Singh’s top adviser said on Tuesday the NDP leader is not particularly eager to trigger an election, even as the Conservatives challenge him to do just that.

Anne McGrath, Singh’s principal secretary, says there will be more volatility in Parliament and the odds of an early election have risen.

“I don’t think he is anxious to launch one, or chomping at the bit to have one, but it can happen,” she said in an interview.

New Democrat MPs are in a second day of meetings in Montreal as they nail down a plan for how to navigate the minority Parliament this fall.

The caucus retreat comes one week after Singh announced the party has left the supply-and-confidence agreement with the governing Liberals.

It’s also taking place in the very city where New Democrats are hoping to pick up a seat on Monday, when voters go to the polls in Montreal’s LaSalle—Émard—Verdun. A second byelection is being held that day in the Winnipeg riding of Elmwood—Transcona, where the NDP is hoping to hold onto a seat the Conservatives are also vying for.

While New Democrats are seeking to distance themselves from the Liberals, they don’t appear ready to trigger a general election.

Singh signalled on Tuesday that he will have more to say Wednesday about the party’s strategy for the upcoming sitting.

He is hoping to convince Canadians that his party can defeat the federal Conservatives, who have been riding high in the polls over the last year.

Singh has attacked Poilievre as someone who would bring back Harper-style cuts to programs that Canadians rely on, including the national dental-care program that was part of the supply-and-confidence agreement.

The Canadian Press has asked Poilievre’s office whether the Conservative leader intends to keep the program in place, if he forms government after the next election.

With the return of Parliament just days away, the NDP is also keeping in mind how other parties will look to capitalize on the new makeup of the House of Commons.

The Bloc Québécois has already indicated that it’s written up a list of demands for the Liberals in exchange for support on votes.

The next federal election must take place by October 2025 at the latest.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Sept. 11, 2024.

The Canadian Press. All rights reserved.

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Social media comments blocked: Montreal mayor says she won’t accept vulgar slurs

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Montreal Mayor Valérie Plante is defending her decision to turn off comments on her social media accounts — with an announcement on social media.

She posted screenshots to X this morning of vulgar names she’s been called on the platform, and says comments on her posts for months have been dominated by insults, to the point that she decided to block them.

Montreal’s Opposition leader and the Canadian Civil Liberties Association have criticized Plante for limiting freedom of expression by restricting comments on her X and Instagram accounts.

They say elected officials who use social media should be willing to hear from constituents on those platforms.

However, Plante says some people may believe there is a fundamental right to call someone offensive names and to normalize violence online, but she disagrees.

Her statement on X is closed to comments.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Sept. 11, 2024.

The Canadian Press. All rights reserved.

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