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Why you have to fill out a Google form to date me

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Featured VideoAlicia Bunyan-Sampson found dating as a polyamorous woman frustrating at best and downright abusive at worst. After too many surprises and hidden red flags, she created a Google questionnaire as a way of getting to know people better before meeting them in person.

This First Person column is written by Alicia Bunyan-Sampson, who lives in Pickering, Ont. For more information about CBC’s First Person stories, please see the FAQ

Throughout my dating history, I have learned that people are rarely who they appear to be and it takes a good amount of time to figure out exactly who or what I’m dealing with. For example, while using dating apps, I’d initially think that I had connected with a feminist, politically-aware guy only to learn — after sharing things like my body and my time — that he’s actually a podcast bro preoccupied with gold diggers whilst having no gold for anyone to dig and describes all his ex-girlfriends as “crazy.”

This was incredibly frustrating to me for a host of reasons but primarily because I was being lied to. Whether it was unintentional or intentional is largely irrelevant. The reality was I had given folks intimate access to me based on what they had shared or who they said they were, and after a while, it began to feel like pieces of me were being erased by these interactions. I didn’t feel safe.

One day, I came across a video by a woman on TikTok who would send a Google form she created to folks she matched with on dating apps. No “hello.” No “how are you doing?” Just a link to the form, which was essentially a survey of clever, probing and playful questions that illuminate a respondent’s values and politics. I recognized the radical feminist brilliance here and decided to follow her lead.

I created my own Google dating form for all potential daters.

In about 30 questions, it sets out to learn three things about my dating prospects:

  1.  How fun or playful they are. If they are willing to fill out a Google form to date me, hanging out with them is probably going to be a good time and they don’t take themselves too seriously. Or they recognize the brilliance of the form itself. Or both.
  2. It gives me direct insight into their politics and how they move in the world.
  3.  It gives them a clear glimpse into who I am, so they can make informed choices about dating me — and whether that’s actually something they want.
A sampling of questions from Bunyan-Sampson’s Google dating form. (Submitted by Alicia Bunyan-Sampson)

The concept behind my Google form is rooted in creating a safe space for myself in relationships and in no longer wasting my divine energy on men who look nice, but aren’t that smart and have suppressed violent tendencies.

I felt I needed this because dating has unfortunately always been exceptionally challenging for me. Whether it be my race, my gender or my identity as a polyamorous person in Canada, there are always complex hurdles in my quest for intimacy and online dating has presented a plethora of unique abuses. I remember reading about a dating app study that talked about how Black women and Asian men were the least desirable people to date. I wanted to be angry, because I believe myself to be a blast in a glass. But when I took the time to reflect on my dating experiences, it rang painfully true.

The exchanges were always sexually charged — some more directly than others — but sex and race were always at the centre of the guy’s desire. Some non-Black folks enjoyed communicating how anti-racist they were — all while saying incredibly racist things.

Some men would read my very detailed profile bio, which includes me identifying as a polyamorous person, and somehow that gave them license to confidently ask me questions about polygamy (a completely different relationship structure), and describe their lifelong desires for threesomes and group sex.

But not all of the red flags were immediately apparent. There were times when I was even hopeful that perhaps, this time, I had found a solid connection. And nearly always I was absolutely incorrect.

Key things like politics, views on gender and how they would describe their exes revealed to me deep incompatibility. I discovered that I had wasted my time.

So, I’ve been giving out the form since the pandemic started. There have been quite a few submissions from folks, primarily based in the United States, and I’ve connected with a few of them. They were all pretty interesting to start out and seemed to be quite enthusiastic about getting to know me, which is always nice. It was also refreshing to have interactions with Black men who weren’t repulsed by my being polyamorous, didn’t make assumptions about sex or were polyamorous themselves. But those relationships didn’t last long, because their expectation was to date “Polyamorous Black Girl” — my internet alias — and not Alicia.

Something I failed to consider in this whole experiment is my micro digital fame and how it impacts dating. A good chunk of people who filled out the form also follow me online and act as if they know exactly who I am based on my content. Unfortunately that gives me a very small space to be exactly who I am. That’s not to say my content isn’t a reflection of me. It is — but it’s a very small piece. A curated glimpse.

I don’t think this means the form is ineffective or unhelpful but it absolutely needs some reshaping. I think the best move at this point is to only share the form with folks I connect with in real life and maybe dating sites. Also, based on some of the interactions I’ve had since making the form, I think adding some questions about communication, consistency and reciprocity are important. The form right now is largely focused on long-term compatibility for me, but I’ve realized that regardless of the length of the relationship, there is a certain level of attention and care I need immediately. So, why not say that?

Overall, what I’ve learned is that being arrogant and clear about what I want and need in dating is the best thing I can do for myself. Even if it means fewer dates or no dates at all. There is this unspoken but loud expectation for women to make ourselves small in relationships. To lower our standards. To never be “too much” when the reality is that men are never asked to do the same. A single man in his late 30s is a handsome bachelor. A single woman in her late 30s is subjected to jokes about being a “spinster” or a “cat lady.”

From what I can see, the key difference in people’s perception of arrogance and confidence is gender. Once I recognized that, I realized that the cost of betraying my own needs or diminishing my value — or not asking the important questions early on just to “have” someone — is a cost I am no longer willing to pay. I’m giving myself permission to take up space in the world, to dare to know what I want and to tell everyone.


 

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How to Preorder the PlayStation 5 Pro in Canada

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Sony has made it easy for Canadian consumers to preorder the PlayStation 5 Pro in Canada directly from PlayStation’s official website. Here’s how:

  • Visit the Official Website: Go to direct.playstation.com and navigate to the PS5 Pro section once preorders go live on September 26, 2024.
  • Create or Log in to Your PlayStation Account: If you don’t have a PlayStation account, you will need to create one. Existing users can simply log in to proceed.
  • Place Your Preorder: Once logged in, follow the instructions to preorder your PS5 Pro. Ensure you have a valid payment method ready and double-check your shipping information for accuracy.

Preorder Through Major Canadian Retailers

While preordering directly from PlayStation is a popular option, you can also secure your PS5 Pro through trusted Canadian retailers. These retailers are expected to offer preorders on or after September 26:

  • Best Buy Canada
  • Walmart Canada
  • EB Games (GameStop)
  • Amazon Canada
  • The Source

Steps to Preorder via Canadian Retailers:

  • Visit Retailer Websites: Search for “PlayStation 5 Pro” on the website of your preferred retailer starting on September 26.
  • Create or Log in to Your Account: If you’re shopping online, having an account with the retailer can speed up the preorder process.
  • Preorder in Store: For those who prefer in-person shopping, check with local stores regarding availability and preorder policies.

3. Sign Up for Notifications

Many retailers and websites offer the option to sign up for notifications when the preorder goes live. If you’re worried about missing out due to high demand, this can be a useful option.

  • Visit Retailer Sites: Look for a “Notify Me” or “Email Alerts” option and enter your email to stay informed.
  • Use PlayStation Alerts: Sign up for notifications directly through Sony to be one of the first to know when preorders are available.

4. Prepare for High Demand

Preordering the PS5 Pro is expected to be competitive, with high demand likely to result in quick sellouts, just as with the initial release of the original PS5. To maximize your chances of securing a preorder:

  • Act Quickly: Be prepared to place your order as soon as preorders open. Timing is key, as stock can run out within minutes.
  • Double-Check Payment Information: Ensure your credit card or payment method is ready to go. Any delays during the checkout process could result in losing your spot.
  • Stay Informed: Monitor PlayStation and retailer websites for updates on restocks or additional preorder windows.

Final Thoughts

The PlayStation 5 Pro is set to take gaming to the next level with its enhanced performance, graphics, and new features. Canadian gamers should be ready to act fast when preorders open on September 26, 2024, to secure their console ahead of the holiday season. Whether you choose to preorder through PlayStation’s official website or your preferred retailer, following the steps outlined above will help ensure a smooth and successful preorder experience.

For more details on the PS5 Pro and to preorder, visit direct.playstation.com or stay tuned to updates from major Canadian retailers.

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Introducing the PlayStation 5 Pro: The Next Evolution in Gaming

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Since the PlayStation 5 (PS5) launched four years ago, PlayStation has continuously evolved to meet the demands of its players. Today, we are excited to announce the next step in this journey: the PlayStation 5 Pro. Designed for the most dedicated players and game creators, the PS5 Pro brings groundbreaking advancements in gaming hardware, raising the bar for what’s possible.

Key Features of the PS5 Pro

The PS5 Pro comes equipped with several key performance enhancements, addressing the requests of gamers for smoother, higher-quality graphics at a consistent 60 frames per second (FPS). The console’s standout features include:

  • Upgraded GPU: The PS5 Pro’s GPU boasts 67% more Compute Units than the current PS5, combined with 28% faster memory. This allows for up to 45% faster rendering speeds, ensuring a smoother gaming experience.
  • Advanced Ray Tracing: Ray tracing capabilities have been significantly enhanced, with reflections and refractions of light being processed at double or triple the speed of the current PS5, creating more dynamic visuals.
  • AI-Driven Upscaling: Introducing PlayStation Spectral Super Resolution, an AI-based upscaling technology that adds extraordinary detail to images, resulting in sharper image clarity.
  • Backward Compatibility & Game Boost: More than 8,500 PS4 games playable on PS5 Pro will benefit from PS5 Pro Game Boost, stabilizing or enhancing performance. PS4 games will also see improved resolution on select titles.
  • VRR & 8K Support: The PS5 Pro supports Variable Refresh Rate (VRR) and 8K gaming for the ultimate visual experience, while also launching with the latest wireless technology, Wi-Fi 7, in supported regions.

Optimized Games & Patches

Game creators have quickly embraced the new technology that comes with the PS5 Pro. Many games will receive free updates to take full advantage of the console’s new features, labeled as PS5 Pro Enhanced. Some of the highly anticipated titles include:

  • Alan Wake 2
  • Assassin’s Creed: Shadows
  • Demon’s Souls
  • Dragon’s Dogma 2
  • Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth
  • Gran Turismo 7
  • Marvel’s Spider-Man 2
  • Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart
  • Horizon Forbidden West

These updates will allow players to experience their favorite games at a higher fidelity, taking full advantage of the console’s improved graphics and performance.

 

 

Design & Compatibility

Maintaining consistency within the PS5 family, the PS5 Pro retains the same height and width as the original PS5 model. Players will also have the option to add an Ultra HD Blu-ray Disc Drive or swap console covers when available.

Additionally, the PS5 Pro is fully compatible with all existing PS5 accessories, including the PlayStation VR2, DualSense Edge, Pulse Elite, and Access controller. This ensures seamless integration into your current gaming setup.

Pricing & Availability

The PS5 Pro will be available starting November 7, 2024, at a manufacturer’s suggested retail price (MSRP) of:

  • $699.99 USD
  • $949.99 CAD
  • £699.99 GBP
  • €799.99 EUR
  • ¥119,980 JPY

Each PS5 Pro comes with a 2TB SSD, a DualSense wireless controller, and a copy of Astro’s Playroom pre-installed. Pre-orders begin on September 26, 2024, and the console will be available at participating retailers and directly from PlayStation via direct.playstation.com.

The launch of the PS5 Pro marks a new chapter in PlayStation’s commitment to delivering cutting-edge gaming experiences. Whether players choose the standard PS5 or the PS5 Pro, PlayStation aims to provide the best possible gaming experience for everyone.

Preorder your PS5 Pro and step into the next generation of gaming this holiday season.

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Google Unveils AI-Powered Pixel 9 Lineup Ahead of Apple’s iPhone 16 Release

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Google has launched its next generation of Pixel phones, setting the stage for a head-to-head competition with Apple as both tech giants aim to integrate more advanced artificial intelligence (AI) features into their flagship devices. The unveiling took place near Google’s Mountain View headquarters, marking an early debut for the Pixel 9 lineup, which is designed to showcase the latest advancements in AI technology.

The Pixel 9 series, although a minor player in global smartphone sales, is a crucial platform for Google to demonstrate the cutting-edge capabilities of its Android operating system. With AI at the core of its strategy, Google is positioning the Pixel 9 phones as vessels for the transformative potential of AI, a trend that is expected to revolutionize the way people interact with technology.

Rick Osterloh, Google’s senior vice president overseeing the Pixel phones, emphasized the company’s commitment to AI, stating, “We are obsessed with the idea that AI can make life easier and more productive for people.” This echoes the narrative Apple is likely to push when it unveils its iPhone 16, which is also expected to feature advanced AI capabilities.

The Pixel 9 lineup will be the first to fully integrate Google’s Gemini AI technology, designed to enhance user experience through more natural, conversational interactions. The Gemini assistant, which features 10 different human-like voices, can perform a wide array of tasks, particularly if users allow access to their emails and documents.

In an on-stage demonstration, the Gemini assistant showcased its ability to generate creative ideas and even analyze images, although it did experience some hiccups when asked to identify a concert poster for singer Sabrina Carpenter.

To support these AI-driven features, Google has equipped the Pixel 9 with a special chip that enables many AI processes to be handled directly on the device. This not only improves performance but also enhances user privacy and security by reducing the need to send data to remote servers.

Google’s aggressive push into AI with the Pixel 9 comes as Apple prepares to unveil its iPhone 16, which is expected to feature its own AI advancements. However, Google’s decision to offer a one-year free subscription to its advanced Gemini Assistant, valued at $240, may pressure Apple to reconsider any plans to charge for its AI services.

The standard Pixel 9 will be priced at $800, a $100 increase from last year, while the Pixel 9 Pro will range between $1,000 and $1,100, depending on the model. Google also announced the next iteration of its foldable Pixel phone, priced at $1,800.

In addition to the new Pixel phones, Google also revealed updates to its Pixel Watch and wireless earbuds, directly challenging Apple’s dominance in the wearable tech market. These products, like the Pixel 9, are designed to integrate seamlessly with Google’s AI-driven ecosystem.

Google’s event took place against the backdrop of a significant legal challenge, with a judge recently ruling that its search engine constitutes an illegal monopoly. This ruling could lead to further court proceedings that may force Google to make significant changes to its business practices, potentially impacting its Android software or other key components of its $2 trillion empire.

Despite these legal hurdles, Google is pressing forward with its vision of an AI-powered future, using its latest devices to showcase what it believes will be the next big leap in technology. As the battle for AI supremacy heats up, consumers can expect both Google and Apple to push the boundaries of what their devices can do, making the choice between them more compelling than ever.

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