When job seekers complain about being ghosted—a form of silent rejection where candidates hear nothing after submitting an application or having been interviewed—I wonder if they’re unaware of the changes in social norms and mannerisms. Do they not know that social norms and the workplace are intertwined? Since the advent of social media, manners, courtesy, and empathy have significantly diminished.
If there’s one thing job seekers can be certain about, they’ll be ghosted multiple times throughout their job search. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say ghosting candidates has become a norm. It’s worth pointing out that companies don’t ghost candidates; the company’s employees ghost candidates. When the recruiter or hiring manager is of a generation that finds ghosting an acceptable way to terminate a relationship, romantic or otherwise, it shouldn’t come as a surprise when they ghost candidates.
Bad News: You can’t change or control other people’s behaviour.
Good News: You can take proactive steps to minimize—as with all human interactions, there are no guarantees—the chances of being ghosted.
Build a strong relationship. Focus on being likeable.
Understandably, hiring managers—recruiters less so since they won’t be working with the candidate—look to hire candidates they can envision getting along with; hence, most job seekers would significantly boost their chance of job search success by focusing more on being likable.
By likable, I mean being pleasant, respectful, and expressing genuine interest in the company and the role. I’ve yet to meet a hiring manager who hires candidates they don’t like. As I’ve mentioned in previous columns, likeability supersedes your skills and experience. Most job seekers don’t focus enough on being likeable.
The stronger the relationship (read: bond) you establish with the recruiter or hiring manager, the more likely they won’t ghost you. From your first interaction, focus on creating a rapport beyond just transactional communication.
Personalizing your correspondence can make a significant difference. Use the hiring manager’s name instead of a generic ‘To Whom It May Concern.’ Find commonalities such as place of birth, hobbies, schools attended, associations you belong to, favourite restaurants, and people you know.
Avoid appearing confrontational.
Anyone reading this can relate to the number one reason why people ghost: to avoid confrontation. Today, many people feel entitled, resulting in job seekers being frustrated and angry. You only need to scroll through LinkedIn posts and comments to see that bashing employers has become an unproductive trend. Hence, it’s likely that a candidate will become confrontational if told they don’t get the job.
Smile throughout your interview! Avoid appearing desperate! My best interviews have been those in which I was nonchalant; I was indifferent to whether or not I got the job. In addition to being a turn-off, showing signs of desperation will raise questions about how you’ll react if told you don’t get hired.
Lastly, tell your interviewer how much you enjoyed talking with them and that you look forward to hearing back.
- “I really enjoyed our conversation, Khloe. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I look forward to hearing your hiring decision.”
- “Either way, please call or email me to let me know about my application status.”
You’re more likely to receive a response by asking explicitly for communication.
Earn your interviewer’s respect.
People tend not to ghost someone they respect.
Respect must be earned, starting with one of life’s golden rules: Treat others how you want to be treated. In other words, give respect to get respect.
Throughout your job search, be professional and courteous. Respond promptly to emails and calls and thank people for their time. Approaching recruiters and hiring managers politely and professionally improves your chances of being treated similarly.
Ask for advice, not feedback.
Asking for advice encourages communication. As your interviewer is wrapping up the interview, mention that you’d welcome their advice. “Given your extensive background in project management, any advice you may have for me wanting to advance my career would be greatly appreciated.”
Why ask for advice and not feedback? The first problem with asking for feedback is it puts the other person on the spot. The second problem is feedback can lead to disagreement, hurt feelings, or defensiveness, a common reaction resulting in confrontation. On the other hand, asking for advice is asking for guidance and suggestions to achieve a better result. Essentially, you’re acknowledging the other person’s experience and massaging their ego. Do you know anyone who doesn’t like being asked for advice?
Send a thank you note.
Sending a thank you note expressing appreciation for the interview and the insights you gained reinforces your interest and keeps the lines of communication open. Conclude with a forward-looking statement, encouraging the recipient to respond.
- “I look forward to hearing from you regarding the next steps.”
- “I look forward to staying in touch.”
Job searching aside, direct, open, and honest communication—say what you mean, mean what you say—which I highly value, has become rare, which explains the prevalence of ghosting. When you’re ghosted, assume the company isn’t enthusiastic about hiring you. Silence may be golden in some things, but ghosting is not one of them.
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Nick Kossovan, a well-seasoned veteran of the corporate landscape, offers “unsweetened” job search advice. You can send Nick your questions to artoffindingwork@gmail.com.
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