Boost Your Job Search With Exceptional Rapport-Building Skills

Job searching requires putting yourself ‘out there,’ making you vulnerable to the uncomfortable prospect of being judged. To avoid judgment, people are increasingly hiding behind social media and texting. This change in communication preference has led to a rise in social awkwardness, something you likely have noticed.

Job searching is fundamentally a social activity; being socially awkward will impede your efforts. A common misconception is that you can secure a job based solely on your credentials. As I’ve stressed in previous columns, job opportunities are all around you; however, they’re linked to people, underscoring the importance of connecting with people.

You never know where your next job lead will come from. Local coffee shop baristas, parents at your child’s soccer game, or the person behind you in a checkout line could lead you to a job. Becoming comfortable with striking up conversations and building rapport with everyone you meet, even in casual settings, will create valuable connections and open doors to new job opportunities.

There’s no shortage of qualified candidates. Employers aren’t looking for the perfect résumé or LinkedIn profile; they’re looking for candidates who’ll fit into their culture and team without disrupting productivity. In this regard, creating a personal connection so you tip the hiring decision scale in your favour is the key to job search success.

Getting hired requires proving three things:

1. You’re easy to get along with
2. You’ll do good work
3. You’ll deliver your work on time

Worth noting: Once hired, two out of three will suffice.

• If your work’s good and you deliver on time, your unpleasantness will be tolerated.
• If your work’s good and you’re liked, your lateness will be overlooked.
• If you’re on time and pleasant to deal with, you don’t have to be the best.

Of course, you should strive for all three.

Assuming your resume and LinkedIn profile provide quantified examples of how you meet deadlines and do good work, how do you establish rapport with a stranger and come across as someone who’ll be easy to work with, which many job seekers struggle to do?

Smile

“A smile is the universal welcome.” – Max Eastman, American writer.

Before you say a word, people notice and judge your physical features, especially whether you’re smiling. Smiling conveys approachability, confidence, and friendliness, puts the other person at ease, and signals that you’re up for a conversation.

Give genuine, sincere compliments.

Everyone craves recognition and appreciation. The easiest way to connect with someone is to make them feel good about themselves; therefore, make it a habit to give genuine and sincere compliments.

Ineffective Compliments:

• “Nice car!” (generic and superficial)
• “I love your outfit!” (focuses on appearance)

Effective Compliments:

• “I was impressed how clearly you explained that complex concept during the panel discussion.”
• “Thanks for sharing your insights into industry trends. You clearly did your research.”

Mirroring

Savvy job seekers often mirror their interviewer’s tone and body language during an interview. Without saying a word, they build rapport and create a bond of familiarity.

Recall the last time you engaged a friend in a meaningful conversation. Chances are, you unknowingly mirrored each other’s body language, matching each other’s tone and pace and using the same mannerisms.

By reflecting the other’s body language, you build rapport:

• If their posture is closed, do the same.
• If they’re laid back and relaxed, mirror them.
• If they gesture often, incorporate similar gestures.

The 2:1 rule

Showing interest makes you likeable and memorable and shows respect, hence why the 2:1 rule, while simple—listen twice as much as you speak—is the key to building rapport. The 2:1 rule doesn’t mean staying silent but rather listening attentively and asking follow-up questions.

• “Why did you feel that way?”
• “What do you plan to do?”
• “Now that you’ve travelled most of Europe, where are you headed next?”

Callbacking is another powerful technique for showing interest and that you’re actually listening. When someone shares a specific detail, bring it up later, especially in future conversations.

• “You said come October, you’ll have been at Wayne Enterprises for five years. Do you envision staying for another five years?
• “You mentioned you enjoy playing euchre. Do you belong to a euchre club?”

Use the person’s name.

Dale Carnegie famously said, “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Once you’ve introduced yourself and vice versa, use their name throughout the conversation.

• “I understand what you mean, Zach. I’m sure it was challenging.”
• “Sarah, as a real estate agent, where do you see Calgary’s housing market heading?”

Find common ground

Humans are tribal. A quick way to build rapport is to find common ground (read: belonging to the same tribe).

• “Where are you from originally?”
• “What brought you to [city/event]?”
• “What do you do for a living?”
• “How did you get interested in [profession/industry]?”
• “What do you like to do around [city/region] for fun?”

Asking open-ended questions encourages the other person to share their background, interests, and experiences. By identifying commonalities, such as shared connections, experiences, or activities, you’ll have a more engaging conversation.

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Nick Kossovan, a well-seasoned veteran of the corporate landscape, offers “unsweetened” job search advice. You can send Nick your questions to artoffindingwork@gmail.com.