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How to keep politics out of Thanksgiving 2020: Pass the turkey, not the touchy subjects. – USA TODAY

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Your Thanksgiving dinner doesn’t need to be a debate. Plan discussion topics ahead of time that don’t have to do with politics. And avoid the alcohol!

Jeanne Safer
 |  Opinion contributor

Four years ago, around this time of year, a strange new emotional malady appeared all over America. I call it “Thanksgiving Derangement Syndrome.” Since then, it has steadily increased in severity and pervasiveness. You’ll probably recognize the symptoms in family members or, alas, in yourself.  

TDS afflicts people who spend the Thanksgiving holiday with family members of opposite political persuasions from their own, from which few families are exempt. Sufferers exhibit the following behaviors: Dread of Thanksgiving dinner with relatives from the other party, a tendency to drink too much and, most ominously, an uncontrollable compulsion to engage in bruising political arguments that make everybody present miserable, embittered, and in a hurry to leave. It’s also easy to catch, and hard to control once a family is infected, and it afflicts partisans of both sides equally.

What makes the syndrome so recalcitrant is that the most striking symptom is not recognizing that you have it (of course, you think everybody on the other side does), but it takes a toll nonetheless. Getting drawn in feels irresistible. In fact, a study showed that people who crossed political lines in either direction to get to a Thanksgiving dinner in 2016 spent 30 to 50 fewer minutes at the festivities than people who celebrated with like-minded relatives. Some people surely found themselves not invited back in 2017.

Now, after one of the most contentious elections in modern times, there’s every indication that tensions will be worse than ever this year.

Prevention is the best medicine

Even though no vaccine for TDS has yet been discovered, there is hope! By following a few sensible recommendations and rules of conduct, and making efforts to be self-aware and exercising a modicum of self-control, serious damage and many regrettable unfriendings on social media can be averted.

The best way to avoid a political fight is both simple and difficult: avoid discussing politics — you know who you’ll be talking to and you know where the conversation will inevitably go, so take charge. Just say no, but with a smile: “It’s Thanksgiving. Let’s not talk about the election — I haven’t seen you since last year, and there’s so much else to say.” Think of apolitical topics in advance, such as what has the other person and his or her family members, or you and yours, have been up to. Some people find sports a useful antidote.

Also, feel free to intervene to stop a conversation between others that is rapidly devolving into a brawl — the other guests will thank you. Do not think of this as being impolite, but as providing a public service. And if you’re the host or hostess, you can set the tone by requesting an embargo on political discussions for the duration, and enforcing this dictum. Preventing a conversation among guests from getting nasty is your prerogative.

COVID-19 vaccine trials: I took a coronavirus vaccine. Get politics out of its rollout.

But you have to do something first in order to accomplish any of this: Don’t drink alcohol. Or, at very least, stop at one glass of wine. If you imbibe to excess, you’re sure to raise your voice when somebody from the other side makes a provocative remark, or to make one yourself. A raised voice is universally interpreted as shouting, and rational conversation stops there.

You are not convincing anyone

And don’t even think about bringing an article or flashing a website on your phone to show someone the light. It has never, ever worked, and it won’t work for you, no matter how persuasive it appears to you.

Inhibit your compulsion to start a conversation with “I’m just thrilled that Biden won” or “I’m so devastated that Trump lost.” Gloating in triumph or grieving over defeats your interlocutor does not feel are equally offensive and off-putting. Why court disaster?

Sometimes, with lots of effort, it may be possible to talk about politics with someone who disagrees by making it an abstract discussion (“What do you think Trump should have done differently?” for example), but Thanksgiving dinner is no place to practice this difficult skill. It’s taken me 40 years in a politically-mixed marriage to learn it.

Doctor: Settle for virtual holidays this year amid COVID-19, starting with Thanksgiving

There is a psychological truth underlying these recommendations that nobody seems to acknowledge: No matter how eloquent you think you are, or how much you are convinced that your opinions are the only correct ones, you’re unlikely to change human nature. Accept that you can’t win any political fight (people don’t change because we want them to), but you can ruin a dinner and seriously damage or destroy a relationship.

Is it worth it? Remember there is no dearth of like-minded comrades who will be delighted to talk with you about the race ad infinitem; seek them out on another occasion. Meanwhile, bon appétit!

Jeanne Safer has been a psychotherapist for 45 years and is author of “I Love You, but I Hate Your Politics” (St. Martins Press). Follow her on Twitter: @JeanneSafer

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‘Disgraceful:’ N.S. Tory leader slams school’s request that military remove uniform

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HALIFAX – Nova Scotia Premier Tim Houston says it’s “disgraceful and demeaning” that a Halifax-area school would request that service members not wear military uniforms to its Remembrance Day ceremony.

Houston’s comments were part of a chorus of criticism levelled at the school — Sackville Heights Elementary — whose administration decided to back away from the plan after the outcry.

A November newsletter from the school in Middle Sackville, N.S., invited Armed Forces members to attend its ceremony but asked that all attendees arrive in civilian attire to “maintain a welcoming environment for all.”

Houston, who is currently running for re-election, accused the school’s leaders of “disgracing themselves while demeaning the people who protect our country” in a post on the social media platform X Thursday night.

“If the people behind this decision had a shred of the courage that our veterans have, this cowardly and insulting idea would have been rejected immediately,” Houston’s post read. There were also several calls for resignations within the school’s administration attached to Houston’s post.

In an email to families Thursday night, the school’s principal, Rachael Webster, apologized and welcomed military family members to attend “in the attire that makes them most comfortable.”

“I recognize this request has caused harm and I am deeply sorry,” Webster’s email read, adding later that the school has the “utmost respect for what the uniform represents.”

Webster said the initial request was out of concern for some students who come from countries experiencing conflict and who she said expressed discomfort with images of war, including military uniforms.

Her email said any students who have concerns about seeing Armed Forces members in uniform can be accommodated in a way that makes them feel safe, but she provided no further details in the message.

Webster did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

At a news conference Friday, Houston said he’s glad the initial request was reversed but said he is still concerned.

“I can’t actually fathom how a decision like that was made,” Houston told reporters Friday, adding that he grew up moving between military bases around the country while his father was in the Armed Forces.

“My story of growing up in a military family is not unique in our province. The tradition of service is something so many of us share,” he said.

“Saying ‘lest we forget’ is a solemn promise to the fallen. It’s our commitment to those that continue to serve and our commitment that we will pass on our respects to the next generation.”

Liberal Leader Zach Churchill also said he’s happy with the school’s decision to allow uniformed Armed Forces members to attend the ceremony, but he said he didn’t think it was fair to question the intentions of those behind the original decision.

“We need to have them (uniforms) on display at Remembrance Day,” he said. “Not only are we celebrating (veterans) … we’re also commemorating our dead who gave the greatest sacrifice for our country and for the freedoms we have.”

NDP Leader Claudia Chender said that while Remembrance Day is an important occasion to honour veterans and current service members’ sacrifices, she said she hopes Houston wasn’t taking advantage of the decision to “play politics with this solemn occasion for his own political gain.”

“I hope Tim Houston reached out to the principal of the school before making a public statement,” she said in a statement.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Nov. 8, 2024.

The Canadian Press. All rights reserved.

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Saskatchewan NDP’s Beck holds first caucus meeting after election, outlines plans

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REGINA – Saskatchewan Opposition NDP Leader Carla Beck says she wants to prove to residents her party is the government in waiting as she heads into the incoming legislative session.

Beck held her first caucus meeting with 27 members, nearly double than what she had before the Oct. 28 election but short of the 31 required to form a majority in the 61-seat legislature.

She says her priorities will be health care and cost-of-living issues.

Beck says people need affordability help right now and will press Premier Scott Moe’s Saskatchewan Party government to cut the gas tax and the provincial sales tax on children’s clothing and some grocery items.

Beck’s NDP is Saskatchewan’s largest Opposition in nearly two decades after sweeping Regina and winning all but one seat in Saskatoon.

The Saskatchewan Party won 34 seats, retaining its hold on all of the rural ridings and smaller cities.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Nov. 8, 2024.

The Canadian Press. All rights reserved.

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Nova Scotia election: Liberals say province’s immigration levels are too high

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HALIFAX – Nova Scotia‘s growing population was the subject of debate on Day 12 of the provincial election campaign, with Liberal Leader Zach Churchill arguing immigration levels must be reduced until the province can provide enough housing and health-care services.

Churchill said Thursday a plan by the incumbent Progressive Conservatives to double the province’s population to two million people by the year 2060 is unrealistic and unsustainable.

“That’s a big leap and it’s making life harder for people who live here, (including ) young people looking for a place to live and seniors looking to downsize,” he told a news conference at his campaign headquarters in Halifax.

Anticipating that his call for less immigration might provoke protests from the immigrant community, Churchill was careful to note that he is among the third generation of a family that moved to Nova Scotia from Lebanon.

“I know the value of immigration, the importance of it to our province. We have been built on the backs of an immigrant population. But we just need to do it in a responsible way.”

The Liberal leader said Tim Houston’s Tories, who are seeking a second term in office, have made a mistake by exceeding immigration targets set by the province’s Department of Labour and Immigration. Churchill said a Liberal government would abide by the department’s targets.

In the most recent fiscal year, the government welcomed almost 12,000 immigrants through its nominee program, exceeding the department’s limit by more than 4,000, he said. The numbers aren’t huge, but the increase won’t help ease the province’s shortages in housing and doctors, and the increased strain on its infrastructure, including roads, schools and cellphone networks, Churchill said.

“(The Immigration Department) has done the hard work on this,” he said. “They know where the labour gaps are, and they know what growth is sustainable.”

In response, Houston said his commitment to double the population was a “stretch goal.” And he said the province had long struggled with a declining population before that trend was recently reversed.

“The only immigration that can come into this province at this time is if they are a skilled trade worker or a health-care worker,” Houston said. “The population has grown by two per cent a year, actually quite similar growth to what we experienced under the Liberal government before us.”

Still, Houston said he’s heard Nova Scotians’ concerns about population growth, and he then pivoted to criticize Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for trying to send 6,000 asylum seekers to Nova Scotia, an assertion the federal government has denied.

Churchill said Houston’s claim about asylum seekers was shameful.

“It’s smoke and mirrors,” the Liberal leader said. “He is overshooting his own department’s numbers for sustainable population growth and yet he is trying to blame this on asylum seekers … who aren’t even here.”

In September, federal Immigration Minister Marc Miller said there is no plan to send any asylum seekers to the province without compensation or the consent of the premier. He said the 6,000 number was an “aspirational” figure based on models that reflect each province’s population.

In Halifax, NDP Leader Claudia Chender said it’s clear Nova Scotia needs more doctors, nurses and skilled trades people.

“Immigration has been and always will be a part of the Nova Scotia story, but we need to build as we grow,” Chender said. “This is why we have been pushing the Houston government to build more affordable housing.”

Chender was in a Halifax cafe on Thursday when she promised her party would remove the province’s portion of the harmonized sales tax from all grocery, cellphone and internet bills if elected to govern on Nov. 26. The tax would also be removed from the sale and installation of heat pumps.

“Our focus is on helping people to afford their lives,” Chender told reporters. “We know there are certain things that you can’t live without: food, internet and a phone …. So we know this will have the single biggest impact.”

The party estimates the measure would save the average Nova Scotia family about $1,300 a year.

“That’s a lot more than a one or two per cent HST cut,” Chender said, referring to the Progressive Conservative pledge to reduce the tax by one percentage point and the Liberal promise to trim it by two percentage points.

Elsewhere on the campaign trail, Houston announced that a Progressive Conservative government would make parking free at all Nova Scotia hospitals and health-care centres. The promise was also made by the Liberals in their election platform released Monday.

“Free parking may not seem like a big deal to some, but … the parking, especially for people working at the facilities, can add up to hundreds of dollars,” the premier told a news conference at his campaign headquarters in Halifax.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Nov. 7, 2024.

— With files from Keith Doucette in Halifax

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