Politics
Family Matters: How To Avoid Talking Politics Over Thanksgiving Dinner, In 5 Steps
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One in five voters says political disagreements have hurt their relationships with friends or family, according to a new poll from The New York Times and Sienna College. And in a world where work/life balance is now just life, understanding how to communicate around sensitive political issues can provide vital guidance on how to address touchy subjects at work. Here’s why: Pew Research reports that nearly half of all Americans have stopped talking about politics with someone, as a result of something they said, either in person or online. Not surprising, when 85% of American voters feel misunderstood by voters on the other side. What happens when the “other side” is really just Uncle Tim from Topeka, sharing his polarizing opinions over mashed potatoes and pie? Since rudeness is on the rise, discussion without disagreement just might be the Thanksgiving recipe that every family needs.
Jamie Clayton, CEO of Oakland Family Services, says, “Don’t enter into a conversation where you’re going to disagree, if you don’t want to sit and listen to the other person’s point of view. A lot of the time, we’re not listening. We’re trying to come up with our own comeback. You can have discussions and you can disagree without being disagreeable.”
One way to avoid the confrontational conversation, according to Sally Plass, an Indiana-based specialist in manners and social graces, is to simply keep politics off the table. “There are certain things as a guest or host you shouldn’t bring up,” she shares. But what about the past posts and memes on social media? What then? When asked about political dialogue, people point to Facebook as an aggravating factor, a space where relationships and politics seemed to collide unavoidably.
“It’s like you’re walking down the street and you see someone holding up a stupid sign, but the person holding up that sign is someone you care about,” Nelson Aquino tells the New York Times, from his home in Orlando. “You want to be like, ‘Put down that sign and go home.’ And you start having these arguments.” Have you been there?
It’s a sign of our times: you can’t unring a bell. But just because you hear a bell doesn’t mean you have to do something to fix it, or try to change its tone. (In an unconfirmed holiday story, that bell may just mean that an angel gets his wings). Here are some ideas from the experts, on how to avoid arguments this Thanksgiving.
- Reframe and Redirect – a simple agreement can help to shift perspectives, and redirect potential conflict. Can we agree not to talk about politics at dinner? Come together as a family and share beforehand that the dinner table is a safe space, and gain agreement so that there’s no misunderstanding. Consider topics that make more sense: what you are grateful for, what you appreciate most in your career and in other people, and what you value (outside of politically-charged issues) most in life. Isn’t there enough to discuss without debating election results for dessert?
- Keep Calm and Carry On – What happens when Uncle Tim violates the prime directive, and brings politics into the conversation? Robert Carini is a sociologist at the University of Louisville. He suggests that if a friend or relative brings up politics just to get a reaction, remain calm. “One way to win an argument is to make someone lose it,” Carini tells the Louisville Courier-Journal. “Families are way too good at pushing people’s buttons. So don’t let them.” You can always choose how you react, even when your button is pushed. That pause is always possible, even at holiday gatherings.
- Don’t Try to Win – Suzanne Degges-White, Chair of the Department of Counseling at Northern Illinois University, reminds us that attacking someone’s favorite sports team is not a battle you will ever win. So why try with someone’s political point of view? “You need to keep the conversation only about individual issues,” she says, pointing to an emotional and personal context to frame the conversation. “If you want people to see things from your side you need to connect it to a person’s emotions. For example, with the issue of equal pay for women — people are more likely to connect to the issue if you bring it down to their level. Say something like, ‘Now how would you feel if your daughter worked just as hard as a man in her office but was paid much less?’” Yet an even-handed approach will not guarantee an even-handed response. Dr. Vaile Wright, a researcher at the American Psychological Association, says, “Even if you are the best communicator in the world, you still may not get the outcome you want.” Are you ok with that? How bad do you need to win this one? If your answer is anything other than, “not at all”, pump the brakes on the political convo, and pass the gravy instead.
- Avoid Labels and Characterizations – When you receive a response to your individually-focused questions, avoid labeling the conversation or the response. “I would expect that kind of narrow-minded reply, coming from you,” isn’t going to strengthen your relationship. “Most socialists/uneducated fools/racists/Boomers would respond like that, I see your point.” Yikes – full stop. Remaining neutral is the key, even when confronted with what might seem like outrageous beliefs and viewpoints. Are you there to fix Uncle Tim, or find out more about his point of view? If the answer is the former, and you can’t remain neutral about the latter, it’s time to change the topic of conversation.
- Curious, Not Furious – Braver Angels is a New York-based organization dedicated to bridging the political divide in this country. Mónica Guzmán, author of I Never Thought of It That Way: How to Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times, shares in the Braver Angels podcast that curiosity is the key. She says that the political divide has become “a funhouse mirror” – with distortion and exaggeration at its core. “When you are judgmental, you can’t be curious,” she notes, “and when you are curious, you can’t be judgmental.” The only way to navigate these difficult conversations is through a detached spirit of curiosity, where learning is more important than fixing.
When we take sides over political issues, during family gatherings, we are creating the kind of division that we wish to eliminate. Just as you may not like broccoli, there’s no reason to engage in a dialogue that’s distasteful. Why would you serve something to someone else, if you know it’s going to get a negative reaction? Similarly, as you identify your own tastes, take time to respect the views of others. A respectful approach isn’t surrender, it’s wisdom. You aren’t forgetting your values, or your viewpoints – you are simply putting your attention on what matters most. Trying to change someone’s mind is a recipe for a fight, not the ingredients for a memorable holiday. Let go of the need to fix, to correct, to win. Focus on what matters most: keeping calm, staying curious, and reminding Uncle Tim that your relationship is much more important than who he voted for in the last election.
Canada called for “all parties” to de-escalate rising tensions in the Mideast following an apparent Israeli drone attack against Iran overnight.
G7 foreign ministers, including Canada’s, and the High Representative for the European Union released a public statement Friday morning. The statement condemned Iran’s “direct and unprecedented attack” on April 13, which saw Western allies intercept more than 100 bomb-carrying drones headed towards Israel, the G7 countries said.
Prior to the Iranian attack, a previous airstrike, widely blamed on Israel, destroyed Iran’s consulate in Syria, killing 12 people including two elite Iranian generals.
“I join my G7 colleagues in urging all parties to work to prevent further escalation,” wrote Foreign Affairs Minister Melanie Joly in a post on X Friday.
More details to come.
Politics
Politics Briefing: Labour leader targets Poilievre, calls him 'anti-worker politician' – The Globe and Mail
Hello,
Pierre Poilievre is a fraud when it comes to empowering workers, says the president of Canada’s largest labour organization.
Bea Bruske, president of the Canadian Labour Congress, targeted the federal Conservative Leader in a speech in Ottawa today as members of the labour movement met to develop a strategic approach to the next federal election, scheduled for October, 2025.
“Whatever he claims today, Mr. Poilievre has a consistent 20-year record as an anti-worker politician,” said Bruske, whose congress represents more than three million workers.
She rhetorically asked whether the former federal cabinet minister has ever walked a picket line, or supported laws to strengthen workers’ voices.
“Mr. Poilievre sure is fighting hard to get himself power, but he’s never fought for worker power,” she said.
“We must do everything in our power to expose Pierre Poilievre as the fraud that he is.”
The Conservative Leader, whose party is running ahead of its rivals in public-opinion polls, has declared himself a champion of “the common people,” and been courting the working class as he works to build support.
Mr. Poilievre’s office today pushed back on the arguments against him.
Sebastian Skamski, media-operations director, said Mr. Poilievre, unlike other federal leaders, is connecting with workers.
In a statement, Skamski said NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh has sold out working Canadians by co-operating with the federal Liberal government, whose policies have created challenges for Canadian workers with punishing taxes and inflation.
“Pierre Poilievre is the one listening and speaking to workers on shop floors and in union halls from coast to coast to coast,” said Mr. Skamski.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Mr. Singh are scheduled to speak to the gathering today. Mr. Poilievre was not invited to speak.
Asked during a post-speech news conference about the Conservative Leader’s absence, Bruske said the gathering is focused on worker issues, and Poilievre’s record as an MP and in government shows he has voted against rights, benefits and wage increases for workers.
“We want to make inroads with politicians that will consistently stand up for workers, and consistently engage with us,” she said.
This is the daily Politics Briefing newsletter, written by Ian Bailey. It is available exclusively to our digital subscribers. If you’re reading this on the web, subscribers can sign up for the Politics newsletter and more than 20 others on our newsletter signup page. Have any feedback? Let us know what you think.
TODAY’S HEADLINES
Pierre Poilievre’s top adviser not yet contacted in Lobbying Commissioner probe: The federal Lobbying Commissioner has yet to be in touch with Jenni Byrne as the watchdog probes allegations of inappropriate lobbying by staff working both in Byrne’s firm and a second one operating out of her office.
Métis groups will trudge on toward self-government as bill faces another setback: Métis organizations in Ontario and Alberta say they’ll stay on the path toward self-government, despite the uncertain future of a contentious bill meant to do just that.
Liberals buck global trend in ‘doubling down’ on foreign aid, as sector urges G7 push: The federal government pledged in its budget this week to increase humanitarian aid by $150-million in the current fiscal year and $200-million the following year.
Former B.C. finance minister running for the federal Conservatives: Mike de Jong says he will look to represent the Conservatives in Abbotsford-South Langley, which is being created out of part of the Abbotsford riding now held by departing Tory MP Ed Fast.
Ottawa’s new EV tax credit raises hope of big new Honda investment: The proposed measure would provide companies with a 10-per-cent rebate on the costs of constructing new buildings to be used in the electric-vehicle supply chain. Story here.
Sophie Grégoire Trudeau embraces uncertainty in new memoir, Closer Together: “I’m a continuous, curious, emotional adventurer and explorer of life and relationships,” Grégoire Trudeau told The Globe and Mail during a recent interview. “I’ve always been curious and interested and fascinated by human contact.”
TODAY’S POLITICAL QUOTES
“Sometimes you’re in a situation. You just can’t win. You say one thing. You get one community upset. You say another. You get another community upset.” – Ontario Premier Doug Ford, at a news conference in Oakville today, commenting on the Ontario legislature Speaker banning the wearing in the House of the traditional keffiyeh scarf. Ford opposes the ban, but it was upheld after the news conference in the provincial legislature.
“No, I plan to be a candidate in the next election under Prime Minister Trudeau’s leadership. I’m very happy. I’m excited about that. I’m focused on the responsibilities he gave me. It’s a big job. I’m enjoying it and I’m optimistic that our team and the Prime Minister will make the case to Canadians as to why we should be re-elected.” – Public Safety Minister Dominic LeBlanc, before Question Period today, on whether he is interested in the federal Liberal leadership, and succeeding Justin Trudeau as prime minister.
THIS AND THAT
Today in the Commons: Projected Order of Business at the House of Commons, April. 18, accessible here.
Deputy Prime Minister’s Day: Private meetings in Burlington, Ont., then Chrystia Freeland toured a manufacturing facility, discussed the federal budget and took media questions. Freeland then travelled to Washington, D.C., for spring meetings of the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank Group. Freeland also attended a meeting of the Five Eyes Finance Ministers hosted by U.S. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, and held a Canada-Ukraine working dinner on mobilizing Russian assets in support of Ukraine.
Ministers on the Road: Foreign Affairs Minister Mélanie Joly is on the Italian island of Capri for the G7 foreign ministers’ meeting. Heritage Minister Pascale St-Onge, in the Quebec town of Farnham, made an economic announcement, then held a brief discussion with agricultural workers and took media questions. Privy Council President Harjit Sajjan made a federal budget announcement in the Ontario city of Welland. Families Minister Jenna Sudds made an economic announcement in the Ontario city of Belleville.
Commons Committee Highlights: Treasury Board President Anita Anand appeared before the public-accounts committee on the auditor-general’s report on the ArriveCan app, and Karen Hogan, Auditor-General of Canada, later appeared on government spending. Crown-Indigenous Relations Minister Gary Anandasangaree appears before the status-of-women committee on the Red Dress Alert. Competition Bureau Commissioner Matthew Boswell and Yves Giroux, the Parliamentary Budget Officer, appeared before the finance committee on Bill C-59. Former Prince Edward Island premier Robert Ghiz, now the president and chief executive officer of the Canadian Telecommunications Association, is among the witnesses appearing before the human-resources committee on Bill C-58, An act to amend the Canada Labour Code. Caroline Maynard, Canada’s Information Commissioner, appears before the access-to-information committee on government spending. Michel Patenaude, chief inspector at the Sûreté du Québec, appeared before the public-safety committee on car thefts in Canada.
In Ottawa: Governor-General Mary Simon presented the Governor-General’s Literary Awards during a ceremony at Rideau Hall, and, in the evening, was scheduled to speak at the 2024 Indspire Awards to honour Indigenous professionals and youth.
PRIME MINISTER’S DAY
Justin Trudeau met with Ottawa Mayor Mark Sutcliffe at city hall. Sutcliffe later said it was the first time a sitting prime minister has visited city hall for a meeting with the mayor. Later, Trudeau delivered remarks to a Canada council meeting of the Canadian Labour Congress.
LEADERS
Bloc Québécois Leader Yves-François Blanchet held a media scrum at the House of Commons ahead of Question Period.
Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre attends a party fundraising event at a private residence in Mississauga.
Green Party Leader Elizabeth May attended the House of Commons.
NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh, in Ottawa, met with Saskatchewan’s NDP Leader, Carla Beck, and, later, Ken Price, the chief of the K’ómoks First Nation,. In the afternoon, he delivered a speech to a Canadian Labour Congress Canadian council meeting.
THE DECIBEL
On today’s edition of The Globe and Mail podcast, Sanjay Ruparelia, an associate professor at Toronto Metropolitan University and Jarislowsky Democracy Chair, explains why India’s elections matter for democracy – and the balance of power for the rest of the world. The Decibel is here.
PUBLIC OPINION
Declining trust in federal and provincial governments: A new survey finds a growing proportion of Canadians do not trust the federal or provincial governments to make decisions on health care, climate change, the economy and immigration.
OPINION
On Haida Gwaii, an island of change for Indigenous land talks
“For more than a century, the Haida Nation has disputed the Crown’s dominion over the land, air and waters of Haida Gwaii, a lush archipelago roughly 150 kilometres off the coast of British Columbia. More than 20 years ago, the First Nation went to the Supreme Court of Canada with a lawsuit that says the islands belong to the Haida, part of a wider legal and political effort to resolve scores of land claims in the province. That case has been grinding toward a conclusion that the B.C. government was increasingly convinced would end in a Haida victory.” – The Globe and Mail Editorial Board.
The RCMP raid the home of ArriveCan contractor as Parliament scolds
“The last time someone was called before the bar of the House of Commons to answer MPs’ inquiries, it was to demand that a man named R.C. Miller explain how his company got government contracts to supply lights, burners and bristle brushes for lighthouses. That was 1913. On Wednesday, Kristian Firth, the managing partner of GCStrategies, one of the key contractors on the federal government’s ArriveCan app, was called to answer MPs’ queries. Inside the Commons, it felt like something from another century.” – Campbell Clark
First Nations peoples have lost confidence in Thunder Bay’s police force
“Thunder Bay has become ground zero for human-rights violations against Indigenous Peoples in Canada. Too many sudden and suspicious deaths of Indigenous Peoples have not been investigated properly. There have been too many reports on what is wrong with policing in the city – including ones by former chair of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission Murray Sinclair and former Toronto Police board chair Alok Mukherjee, and another one called “Broken Trust,” in which the Office of the Independent Police Review Director said the Thunder Bay Police Service (TBPS) was guilty of “systemic racism” in 2018. – Tanya Talaga.
The failure of Canada’s health care system is a disgrace – and a deadly one
“What can be said about Canada’s health care system that hasn’t been said countless times over, as we watch more and more people suffer and die as they wait for baseline standards of care? Despite our delusions, we don’t have “world-class” health care, as our Prime Minister has said; we don’t even have universal health care. What we have is health care if you’re lucky, or well connected, or if you happen to have a heart attack on a day when your closest ER is merely overcapacity as usual, and not stuffed to the point of incapacitation.” – Robyn Urback.
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GOP strategist reacts to Trump’s ‘unconventional’ request
Donald Trump’s campaign is asking Republican candidates and committees using the former president’s name and likeness to fundraise to give at least 5% of what they raise to the campaign, according to a letter obtained by CNN. CNN’s Steve Contorno and Republican strategist Rina Shah weigh in.
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