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Second alleged victim of Alice Munro’s husband says parents must protect their kids

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The second woman to publicly accuse Alice Munro’s late husband of targeting her sexually when she was a child says she hopes her story will encourage parents to believe their children.

Jane Morrey was nine years old when she says Gerald Fremlin exposed himself to her while he was staying at her family’s Toronto home, several years before he married Munro. Fifty-five years later, she was inspired to speak publicly about it for the first time after learning that Fremlin had later sexually abused one of Munro’s daughters, Andrea Robin Skinner, when she, too, was nine.

Morrey, 64, says her experience was profoundly different from Skinner’s. Last month, Skinner described in an essay for the Toronto Star how for years after Fremlin assaulted her, she was sent back to her mother’s home every summer and continued to be abused by him. Her mother’s decision to stay with Fremlin after learning of the sexual abuse has tarnished the legacy of one of Canada’s most celebrated authors. Munro died in May, aged 92.

When Fremlin targeted Morrey, she said, her mother threw him out of the house immediately, and Morrey never saw him again until she was an adult. Looking back now, she said she doesn’t feel “particularly traumatized” by the incident.

“I never grew up feeling like I did something wrong, ever,” she said in a phone interview on Monday. “I felt like I was completely vindicated, because I was believed, instantly.”

Morrey, who first told her story to the Toronto Star, hopes her decision to speak out will help other parents understand how important it is to act decisively. “Aside from Alice Munro’s fame, aside from everything, if something happens and your child tells you, then believe them and act accordingly,” she said.

It was only after Skinner’s essay was published that it became known Fremlin, who died in 2013 at the age of 88, had pleaded guilty in 2005 to indecently assaulting his stepdaughter.

Fremlin was a close family friend of Morrey’s parents. They had attended the University of Western Ontario together, along with Alice and Jim Munro, who would become the author’s first husband and the father of her three daughters, including Andrea.

Morrey’s older sister, Marianne Webb, said Fremlin visited their family often, and she doesn’t remember a time when he wasn’t friends with her parents. She said he never acted inappropriately toward her, and she remembers being “kind of jealous” that he would send her little sister postcards from his travels around the world. Now, she sees the behaviour as “subtle grooming.”

Morrey, who is seven years younger than Webb, said she loved getting postcards, gifts and attention from Fremlin and saw him as something of an uncle.

Then, when Fremlin was visiting in 1969, nine-year-old Morrey went into his room one morning to ask what he wanted for breakfast. She said he threw his blanket off and exposed himself to her. Shocked, she left the room and began making oatmeal.

She said Fremlin then followed her to the kitchen and told her, “I shouldn’t have flashed my c–k at you.”

“I’d never heard adults talk that way or use that kind of word,” she said. “My parents were very clinical about stuff.”

But Fremlin went on, she remembers. “Then he said, “OK, so you got to see me. Maybe you’d like to show me yours.’”

At that point, Morrey said, she left the room and woke up her mother to tell her what had happened. “My mother went berserk when I told her,” she said, and immediately got the girls to leave the house. Webb said they waited at the end of the street until they saw Fremlin’s car drive off.

When they got back, Morrey said, her parents told her Fremlin was never coming back to the house. After that, “they just didn’t speak of it again,” she said.

Morrey didn’t see Fremlin again until nearly two decades later, at a 1986 launch for one of Munro’s books. Munro and Fremlin had married 10 years earlier. “I went up to him and I said, ‘You probably don’t recognize me but I’m Jane Webb,’ and he just looked terrified,” she said.

She didn’t confront him about the incident from her childhood, but she wanted to scare him. “He scared me when I was little and I wanted to look him in the eye and watch him squirm. I wanted him to worry about what I might do or say,” she said in an email. “I guess I wanted to show him that he wasn’t the only person with power.”

Morrey has not spoken with Skinner, who was assaulted by Fremlin in 1976, several years after Morrey says he targeted her. But Morrey said she always wondered whether Fremlin had other victims, and whether anything might have happened with any of Munro’s daughters. “It was always kind of in the back of my mind, but I never really thought about it very much at all until (Skinner’s) article,” she said.

Now, she hopes other potential victims will feel safe enough to come forward. “As victims, there’s no shame in it,” she said.

Years after the incident, when Morrey was an adult, her mother struck up a new friendship with Fremlin. At that point, she said, her relationship with her mother was strained and she never confronted her about the friendship, which was short-lived. Webb also suspects their father quietly maintained a friendship with Munro’s husband. Both her parents have since died.

“The real enigma was how my parents recognized that he was a predator who needed to be kept away from their daughter and yet continued to enjoy his friendship,” Morrey said by email. “How he found a wife and at least two friends who could knowingly ignore his abhorrent and criminal behaviour is truly mind-boggling.”

Ultimately, though, she’s grateful to her mother for doing “the right thing in the moment,” especially when she contrasts her experience with Skinner’s.

“That was probably the most important thing she ever did for me,” she said. “The confidence that it gives you in being believed is so important.”

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Aug. 7, 2024.

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Police union calls for ‘fulsome public safety plan’ in B.C. ahead of provincial vote

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VICTORIA – The national union for RCMP officers is seeking to make public safety and bail reform a British Columbia election issue after repeat offenders were arrested for violent crimes, including a pair of gruesome attacks in downtown Vancouver last week.

The National Police Federation says it has launched a “pre-election program” calling on the winner of the Oct. 19 election to deliver a “fulsome public safety plan.”

It describes the current bail system as “catch and release” and says there’s a lack of data-informed support and monitoring of repeat offenders, resulting in public safety being compromised.

Thirty-four-year-old Brendan McBride was arrested last week over what police are calling two stranger attacks in downtown Vancouver, resulting in the death of 70-year-old Francis Laporte, while another victim’s hand was cut off.

Court documents show that at the time of the attacks, McBride was on probation over an assault in White Rock, B.C., last September, and the man had been sentenced to 12 months of probation before that in July 2022 for a separate assault in North Vancouver.

National Police Federation vice-president Rob Farrer says the timing of the organization’s call ahead of the election was somewhat coincidental, since it was more of a response to recent cases such as the Vancouver stranger attacks.

“It’s not about the election per se,” Farrer said. “We’re trying to make sure that we keep on top of this. We’re hearing from our officers, they’re seeing it every day and British Columbians and Canadians generally are seeing this as a major issue.”

He also said that while provincial governments tend to point to bail reform being a federal issue, it doesn’t absolve the provinces, including B.C., of not doing enough.

“We’re asking that whoever makes up the new government really be prepared to deliver a fulsome public safety plan, including what the bail-reform initiatives would look like — and not simply saying it’s a federal responsibility.

“Because it is not simply a federal responsibility. It’s a joint responsibility for both governments.”

Many of the initiatives called for by the federation are echoed in a July 2023 report released by the group about Canadian bail reform.

In the report, the federation called for the provinces to improve data collection and sharing on criminal cases across Canada, which would give judges a more complete picture of a person’s criminal history when they make bail decisions.

Farrer said more investment in and deployment of bail-enforcement monitoring technology should also be a part of a comprehensive answer to repeat offenders in society, as well as standardized training qualifications for justices presiding over bail hearings.

“It’s not just us that’s saying it,” Farrer said of the federation’s call for reform, noting an poll taken in August in B.C. commissioned by the group showed 82 per cent of those surveyed were concern about crime by repeat offenders.

“I think that’s a very, very strong majority of people across the province … who think that the current systems are not meeting their needs. And as a result, we’re seeing these incidents like the one in Vancouver.”

The National Police Federation is Canada’s largest police union that represents about 20,000 RCMP members both inside and outside the country.

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Sept. 9, 2024.

The Canadian Press. All rights reserved.



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Air Canada prepares to shut down as talks with pilots union near deadlock – CTV News

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Air Canada prepares to shut down as talks with pilots union near deadlock  CTV News

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You Can Minimize the Odds of Being Ghosted

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When job seekers complain about being ghosted—a form of silent rejection where candidates hear nothing after submitting an application or having been interviewed—I wonder if they’re unaware of the changes in social norms and mannerisms. Do they not know that social norms and the workplace are intertwined? Since the advent of social media, manners, courtesy, and empathy have significantly diminished.

If there’s one thing job seekers can be certain about, they’ll be ghosted multiple times throughout their job search. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say ghosting candidates has become a norm. It’s worth pointing out that companies don’t ghost candidates; the company’s employees ghost candidates. When the recruiter or hiring manager is of a generation that finds ghosting an acceptable way to terminate a relationship, romantic or otherwise, it shouldn’t come as a surprise when they ghost candidates.

 

Bad News: You can’t change or control other people’s behaviour.

 

Good News: You can take proactive steps to minimize—as with all human interactions, there are no guarantees—the chances of being ghosted.

 

Build a strong relationship. Focus on being likeable.

Understandably, hiring managers—recruiters less so since they won’t be working with the candidate—look to hire candidates they can envision getting along with; hence, most job seekers would significantly boost their chance of job search success by focusing more on being likable.

By likable, I mean being pleasant, respectful, and expressing genuine interest in the company and the role. I’ve yet to meet a hiring manager who hires candidates they don’t like. As I’ve mentioned in previous columns, likeability supersedes your skills and experience. Most job seekers don’t focus enough on being likeable.

The stronger the relationship (read: bond) you establish with the recruiter or hiring manager, the more likely they won’t ghost you. From your first interaction, focus on creating a rapport beyond just transactional communication.

Personalizing your correspondence can make a significant difference. Use the hiring manager’s name instead of a generic ‘To Whom It May Concern.’ Find commonalities such as place of birth, hobbies, schools attended, associations you belong to, favourite restaurants, and people you know.

 

Avoid appearing confrontational.

Anyone reading this can relate to the number one reason why people ghost: to avoid confrontation. Today, many people feel entitled, resulting in job seekers being frustrated and angry. You only need to scroll through LinkedIn posts and comments to see that bashing employers has become an unproductive trend. Hence, it’s likely that a candidate will become confrontational if told they don’t get the job.

Smile throughout your interview! Avoid appearing desperate! My best interviews have been those in which I was nonchalant; I was indifferent to whether or not I got the job. In addition to being a turn-off, showing signs of desperation will raise questions about how you’ll react if told you don’t get hired.

Lastly, tell your interviewer how much you enjoyed talking with them and that you look forward to hearing back.

 

  • “I really enjoyed our conversation, Khloe. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me. I look forward to hearing your hiring decision.”
  • “Either way, please call or email me to let me know about my application status.”

 

You’re more likely to receive a response by asking explicitly for communication.

 

Earn your interviewer’s respect.

People tend not to ghost someone they respect.

Respect must be earned, starting with one of life’s golden rules: Treat others how you want to be treated. In other words, give respect to get respect.

Throughout your job search, be professional and courteous. Respond promptly to emails and calls and thank people for their time. Approaching recruiters and hiring managers politely and professionally improves your chances of being treated similarly.

 

Ask for advice, not feedback.

Asking for advice encourages communication. As your interviewer is wrapping up the interview, mention that you’d welcome their advice. “Given your extensive background in project management, any advice you may have for me wanting to advance my career would be greatly appreciated.”

Why ask for advice and not feedback? The first problem with asking for feedback is it puts the other person on the spot. The second problem is feedback can lead to disagreement, hurt feelings, or defensiveness, a common reaction resulting in confrontation. On the other hand, asking for advice is asking for guidance and suggestions to achieve a better result. Essentially, you’re acknowledging the other person’s experience and massaging their ego. Do you know anyone who doesn’t like being asked for advice?

 

Send a thank you note.

Sending a thank you note expressing appreciation for the interview and the insights you gained reinforces your interest and keeps the lines of communication open. Conclude with a forward-looking statement, encouraging the recipient to respond.

 

  • “I look forward to hearing from you regarding the next steps.”
  • “I look forward to staying in touch.”

 

Job searching aside, direct, open, and honest communication—say what you mean, mean what you say—which I highly value, has become rare, which explains the prevalence of ghosting. When you’re ghosted, assume the company isn’t enthusiastic about hiring you. Silence may be golden in some things, but ghosting is not one of them.

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Nick Kossovan, a well-seasoned veteran of the corporate landscape, offers “unsweetened” job search advice. You can send Nick your questions to artoffindingwork@gmail.com.

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