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NHL News: Hockey scientists move the “McDavid Trade Demand” clock closer to midnight – Pension Plan Puppets

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In a startling press conference hockey scientists representing the “Top 200 Hockey Men Society’ have announced that the Edmonton Oilers are closer to Doomsday – Connor McDavid demanding a trade out of town – than ever before, after Ken Holland announced the signing of Zack Kassian to a four year, $13 million contract.

“With the Oilers line up already filled with also-rans and never-will-bes, the addition of enforcer Zack Kassian being awarded a multi-year contract with a cap hit of $3,200,000 per season has forced us to issue this warning to the citizens of Edmonton and the hockey world at large,” society president David “Dave” Strombowski said in a press release. “Season after season we see the Edmonton Oilers wasting the careers of multiple top draft picks, and soon it will be the end times, when the survivors finally wake up and realize they need to get out of Edmonton for the sake of their careers.”

The Top 200 Hockey Men Society added this contract to the list of reasons they have used to move the clock forward since the Edmonton Oilers won the 2015 NHL Draft Lottery:

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1) Connor McDavid’s obvious disappointment after it as announced the Oilers won the lottery:

2) The Edmonton Oilers traded away Taylor Hall just one season after McDavid joined the team, signalling the beginning of yet another rebuild around a first overall pick and denying McDavid a top line winger to play with.

3) The Oilers 149-147-32 record since McDavid came to town, a winning percentage of only 45%.

4) Two of his most common line mates in Edmonton have been Patrick Maroon and Milan Lucic.

5) 13 playoff games over five seasons.

The T2HMS says that while Connor McDavid has so far expressed the complete professionalism needed to continue a stagnant career in Edmonton, eventually he will reach a breaking point where he will demand a trade out of Edmonton, causing Edmonton to be stuck in a constant loop of rebuilding the team.

Hockey scientists say that while this could be deadly to the fanbase in Edmonton, it’s necessary to keep the conferences balanced since the Buffalo Sabres have also been stuck in the same vortex of rebuilding since 2015.

Now, the good news.

The Leafs win! Kinda!

The Leafs have interest in Matt Dumba, a move I will only support if he changes back to #55.

It’s this kind of upbeat content that keeps me coming back.

It’ll be just as boring as everyone else’s I bet.

…Is Eyes on the Prize assassinating Habs Legends?

The Battle of Alberta did not disappoint.

Alright, enjoy your day everyone. Edmonton, don’t push Connor farther to the edge today.

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Thatcher Demko injury Vancouver Canucks – TSN

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Vancouver Canucks goaltender Thatcher Demko suffered an apparent lower-body injury in the first period of Thursday’s game against the Florida Panthers and did not return.

Demko was helped off the ice and left the game after a sequence near the end of the frame where the Panthers got their third goal of the period. Demko stopped two shots off the rush before doubling over on the third attempt favouring the upper side of his right leg. 

Spencer Martin replaced the injured Demko, who allowed three goals on 16 shots prior to departing. Martin allowed two goals on 15 shots in relief in an eventual 5-1 loss.

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After the game, head coach Bruce Boudreau did not have an update on Demko.

The 26-year-old Demko has a 3.81 goals-against average and .885 save percentage in 14 games this season. This is his sixth season in Vancouver after being selected in the second round (No. 36 overall) in the 2014 NHL Draft.

The Canucks will be back in action Saturday at home against the Arizona Coyotes.

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Canadiens @ Flames Top Six Minutes: All Out Allen – Habs Eyes on the Prize

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For our new readers and members, the Top Six Minutes is a continuation of the discussion in the game thread. We try to keep it light and entertaining. Full recaps are up the morning after every game.

Pre-game

  • Can’t score less than Tuesday night, right?
  • RIGHT???
  • Hoffman on IR means Pitlick being called up to the wamth of NHL again.
  • MSL deploying a seven-eleven tonight. Seven d-men and just eleven attackers.

First Period

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  • Slaf elevated to the second line? I like it.

Can’t score less than Tuesday night, right?

  • It took literally thirteen seconds for that prediction to tome true.
  • Sean Monahan playing “the ghost of Christmas” past on a breakaway, forcing Markström out of his net and our first overall selection follows up and picks up the rebound like a seasoned vet.
  • Quite the composure there from Slafkovsky.
  • Fourth of the season for Juraj. His first since 6 November.
  • Jordan Harris to the box of shame for hooking Dube.
  • The lead stands tall.
  • Otherwise, how ‘bout that Jake Allen huh?
  • Former Flame Monahan leads former Hab Tyler Toffoli on points after period one.

Second Period

  • 0 for 6 on the power play against the Sharks. Here we go again. The bread muncher Mangiapane to the box.
  • A goal would be nice. But I guess that’s too much to ask for.
  • Apparently it was -30 in Calgary tonight.
  • And yes, I’m talking about the weather and not Evgenii Dadonov’s plus-minus statistics.
  • And here I am, thinking it’s cold when it’s plus five in Zagreb.
  • Habs survive another penalty kill, with Xhek(w)aj(faj) in the box.
  • Slaf hits the post on a breakaway.
  • Truly great to see him gaining momentum with his pace and puck control.
  • Elias Lindholm ties the contest up at one-a-piece with 29 seconds left of period two.
  • Should have been an interference call on Lindholm in the lead-up to the goal, n’est-ce pas?

Third Period

  • Harris penalized again. This time an unnecessary dealy of game-call.
  • Toffoli does his best to haunt his former team as well, but David Savard with a quality block and the puck ricochets off the crossbar.
  • Five minutes into the third. Habs are getting outshot 14-34.
  • Weird sequence here. Josh Anderson swats at a puck after the referees blow it down for an icing.
  • Markström disapproves of the swat and swats at Anderson as he goes by.
  • Anderson disapproves of Markström being all Swedish and tall.
  • And Mangiapane jumps in to defend his disapproving goalie before Anderson disapproves any more of that.
  • Conclusion: Mangiapane can eat bread for an additional two minutes in the penalty box as he gets called for roughing.
  • Nice work, Josh! Well planned.
  • Although, to quote our managing editor: “Unfortunately, it now results in a power play.”
  • Was just thinking: “Hasn’t it been too long (it’s all relative, it’s been nine days) since Caufield scored now?”
  • He rips one on the man advantage and Montreal regains their lead.
  • Apparently, this was Caufield’s 100th regular season NHL game.
  • His stats so far: 40 goals, 30 assists.
  • Oh, and 12 penalty minutes, not to forget.
  • Who got another assist in his former house? Boogaloo, Sean Monahan.
  • Backlund trips up his fellow Mike (Matheson) resulting in another Canadiens power play.
  • You think they could do it twice in one night? Getouttahere.
  • The Habs create little and instead takes a penalty of their own, for too many men on the ice.
  • All while Calgary gets a three-on-one and Slaf takes a puck to the face. It’s an action packed night, this one.
  • Jake Allen is playing like a man possessed tonight. 42 stops and counting.
  • Make that 44.
  • Make that a road victory.
  • On we go to the culture capital of the world: Edmonton, AB.

EOTP 3 Stars

3) This is great news for this western road trip

2) There’s a lot of potential here

1) I think every part of his body got hit with a puck tonight

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2022 FIFA World Cup: What we learned as Canada bows out in loss to Morocco – Sportsnet.ca

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